Gluten Free --Part III

My post today is to answer a lot of questions. 

A lot of people want to know more about my experience. 

A lot of other people want to know if and how to go gluten free. So I have combined it all into this post. (although I believe in NAET and body talk and how it helped me, I also realize that there are a lot of people that just need to go gluten free and since I went through all the pain of figuring this stuff out on my own, I thought I would share the information with ya'll so maybe it would make someone's transition much easier) 

Enjoy!

Answering questions:

So, a lot of people have asked me questions after hearing my story of overcoming celiac disease (if you missed the other posts, this is where you can find part I and part II) . Here are some of the main questions asked and their answers:

{why did it work?}

You know...I don't know exactly why. I do believe that energy has a lot to do with the way we all work. The way things were created and run. It has a lot to do with our moods and the way we think and feel. It has to do with how we interact with others

(check this out to see how energy can be seen in formation of ice crystals when speaking positive or negatively to them)

I think its a neat way to find out what is wrong. Without modern medicine, how did people do it back 2000 years ago? It could quite possibly be through energy!

{you referred to the body talk specialist saying that she resolved past conflict/trauma that happened. What caused this? Do we all have this? Why couldn't you remember the incident if it was so specific?}

Well, I am not sure how this all works. The body talk practitioner just said that I had been holding onto a memory that was deeply embedded that was causing all this turmoil down to even the cells of my body. But she also did say that my colon problems were caused by trying to have control, and it wasn't related to a specific event. (and that most people who try to have a lot of control also have colon/digestive problems). I don't know why I can't remember the memory she was referring to, but I am sure that a life time of those memories would def build up and cause me to live differently, and that by that different way of thinking and living that it would cause me to have different energy. I guess that energy just affected me more than I thought. 

There are lots of ancient medicines that believe you have energy pathways, and if the energy gets stuck somewhere then it causes a lot of problems. Chinese medicine works a lot with it, and they use this medicine widely over there today. 

Yes, i think to some degree all of us have these energy blockages. Now, does it affect everyone the same? i don't know. Why do some incidents cause people to have severe Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and the same thing doesnt really affect someone else? I don't know. but that explains it..kinda

{Why do you think that there is such a widespread problem of people not "accepting" specifically gluten these days?}

This is a tricky one. I do have a strong opinion on this. I have much experience that shows that there are a lot of us 30 and under that are having intense problems. I rarely encounter someone who has the problem who is over 30 (albeit, it does happen), but it is booming in our generation. It also seems to happen to a lot of people when they turn about 18.

My theory is that something dramatic happened about 25 years ago that affected all of us as children. and that it takes about 10 years to get bad enough to show. (that is why we are all about 18-30 that its affecting). It could be through genetic modifications of our food that occured 25 years ago or a strain of antibiotics that came out then.

I know that genetically modified food is not the enemy, and that it has saved thousands and millions of lives. Here is an article on it. So, I will not protest it. I personally just think that it is linked to it. But I also think that antibiotics are a common cause of gut problems. Doctors prescribe them way too readily these days. So as of right now I feed my family organic non-GMO wheat as much as i can, and stay away from antibiotics if I can. 

{Do you think your symptoms will come back?}

this is a tricky one. I def think they could come back because whatever caused me to have the problem in the first place is still out there. Since I don't know exaclty what it is, then it could come back. and yes, I would first go to a NAET dr and a body talk practitioner to try and fix the problem. The money is way way way worth feeling better. Plus, we save tons of money not having to eat gf right now. 

{do you have to keep going back to those doctors?}

I asked that over and over again to the doctors because I was scared I couldn't be  fixed. They kept telling me that only a few people ever come back after they are "healed." And a few of them just to get tune ups or fix other allergies they have developed. So i don't feel like i'll have to go in for tune ups, but if I do. I don't mind spending a few hundred every few years to feel good :)

{how did you even get courage to do that?}

I was so sick.

Let's restate it.

I was so so sick.

I was willing to try anything. Plus a few testimonials sure helped. I always say that if you are not willing to try these things, you are not sick enough then. Because we had no money. Like no money, but we budgeted and spent around $1500-$2000 on all the treatments before we were done to help me be healed. So money wasn't a barrier, it was just...what was I willing to try to feel better?

{would I recommend these treatments for people who were not as sick as you were?}

yes. I think that in our world of processed foods, chemicals, antibiotics, pollution, etc that so many "unnatural" things are affecting us that most of us have problems that could be resolved  through NAET and body talk. I also think a lot of us live with problems that we don't realize are heavily affecting us, but once they are resolved we realize how much of a burden they were. (like headaches, low blood sugar, mild depression, pains, difficulty sleeping, etc). So I would recommend everyone going in and doing it to see how your life can be improved!

Sessions cost anywhere from $40-$100 depending on the experience of the practitioner.

{well, my doctor says I have IBS and so I'm sticking with that.}

Yes, you probably do have IBS. I had IBS! but I feel like IBS is a way to say "something makes you sick and we don't know what or how to help you."  So you can live like that, like I did for years, or you can move forward with going gluten free or going to one of these practitioners to see if you could overcome that problem, and feel better. 

{do you feel like everyone with gluten sensitivity or celiac disease will be healed by going to said doctors?}

I want to say yes. I would recommend everyone with these problems to go. But sadly, I don't think it will be 100% success rate. Just like NAET couldnt totally help me (it helped me overcome my seasonal allergies and sugar/nut problems.) but it couldnt figure out gluten. So, i think if you search long enough, you could find something that would work. But I also feel that most people could benefit from NAET or body talk just like I did. I would def try them first!!!

Here are questions people ask me about going gluten free:

How do I know if I should go gluten free??

Symptoms:

Here is a list of the typical symptoms that gluten could be causing

Here is another list of things that are most commonly seen

the trick is that it does different things to most people. So, the lists vary all over the place!

My symptoms were things that I never would have thought were connected to eating gluten, so I was treating them all individually, and when I went gf, and a lot of them resolved or went away and would come back when i was forced to eat gluten for the tests and such, then it was crazy to realize how gluten was affecting my body!

I had: bloating, alternating constipation and diarrhea, extreme tiredness/fatigue, high anxiety, constant need to eat (always felt like I was fasting, my arms would shake, but I was always bloated and full...it was weird), canker sores, receding gum lines/sensitive gums/enamel loss, depression/extreme mood swings, weight fluctuation (like 8 lbs difference day to day), weight gain, nausea, and more. 

Seriously, it was way worth it to not eat gluten for me. But like I always say, if you are not willing to go gluten free to see if it will make you feel better, then you must not be feeling bad enough. 

Why would I want to go gluten free??

Intense problems it could be causing:

So, there are a lot of other things that eating gluten can cause problems with.

Why?

Because it has to do with your digestive system and that has a lot to do with your hormones. Seriously, I could tell that my hormones were so much more regulated when I went totally gf. That's why if you are having a problem with Autism, Depression, Anxiety, Infertility, Arthritis, Headaches/migraines, Insomnia, Extreme Fatigue/Tiredness, or other things that doctors can't figure out what is causing the problem. I would say look into this. Try one of the options below to find out if gluten is causing you problems.

What are tests that can be done to know if I need to be going gf?

Well there are a few options. 

1) go gluten free (like completely gluten free for 3-6 weeks, directions below) and see what difference it makes, or see what it feels like to add back in gluten

2) get tested

there are different tests you can do. Almost all of them require you to be eating gluten during the test, so if you are eventually going to do these tests I would recommend doing it before you go gluten free. The only thing about these tests is that many people might come back negative (stating that gluten is not the problem, BUT i know lots of people that the tests were negative but living gf makes them feel so much better. So they are not totally trustworthy, but they are helpful.)

You can get a blood test done

Get an endoscopy

Gene testing

(these 3 tests are explained here, talk with your doctor about what would be best for you)

3) Go to a NAET practitioner who can "test" you to see what foods are making you sick/causing different symptoms or long term problems.  (I would recommend this just because they are able to do things much faster and much easier than all the blood work that only tells you if your body is rejecting gluten, but can't do anything about it. But what if you are also rejecting corn and milk? NAET helps there!)  --for more info about NAET check out my other blog post about it here

Ok, I realize I am ready to go gf, how should I do it?

It is important to do this right, you have to go completely gluten free to see a difference! Even a small bite of bread can throw this whole thing off!

the first time i didnt go totally gf so i couldnt tell a difference!

 The second time I went completely (like no sacrament no toast in a normal toaster), it worked much better! but even then it wasnt night and day, but i felt 50% better after 3 weeks, then after a few months i felt 80% better. And when i ate gluten again it wasnt immediately like "wow, that stuff hurts me." it takes my system 12-24 hrs to react and start giving me pains and such.

You have to cut out all things with gluten:

anything with wheat, barley, rye, or oats (unless the oats say gf)

If you are like dying because the gf bread tastes bad then, you might have to cut it out for a few weeks and then add gf bread back in.  i have seen studies that show that if you take something out of your diet for about 3 weeks (like normal bread for example) then bring it back in another way (like starting to eat gf bread) then you cant tell the difference as much as if you immediately switched over.  So if you  hate gf pasta or crackers or bread, give it 2-3 weeks and see if you like it later.

Here are two options for your food lists: 

1- buy expensive gluten free food, so you can continue eating the same meals as before (ie sub gf pasta in your casseroles, use gf bread, etc)

2- try to eat what you normally eat that is gluten free (ie only cook meals you are used to that are already gf)

let me explain the difference. if you go with #1, then you can still have your pasta casseroles and such, but use gf pasta and gf cream of chicken soup, or you can use gf bread or flour to make pancakes or french toast. Two problems with this: your family might not like the gf stuff (nate doesnt mind it, but since it is so much more expensive, if we have pasta, i make 2 different kinds of pasta and just make sure not to contaminate my gf pasta with the spoon that is used in his pasta)...BUT with casseroles, that is hard, so if i make lasagna, we just use gf pasta and nate says he cant tell the difference.

 second problem with just switching things out for gf stuff is that it tastes weird.

if you go with #2 then you might go crazy only eating the few things that are in your original diet that are gluten free. (like salad, chips and salsa, and rice).  So your choice :)

Here are some links to help make the transition easier:

Here is a link to cleaning out your kitchen if you are dedicated to getting gluten out of your life!

Here is a link to a fun website that will help you see how "probable" that things are gluten free (this is a link to gummy bears...but I used this website to help me find out things that I could be getting contaminated with that didn't have the information on the package.)

I am still sick even with gf, what else could be causing the problem?

this is a super tricky question, because everyone is different, 

BUT common things that I researched are:

-oats, carageenan (they put this in things to make it creamier 

like sour cream, icecream, soymilk), msg, carmel coloring

-really, it could be anything.  I would first try taking out gluten and milk. This is most common, soy next, then corn. (really it is difficult to tell, that is why I like NAET practitioners that can tell you what things your body is rejecting.)

-It also might be a problem with low probiotic growth in your gut, 

so you could try taking probiotics and prebiotics

-It might also be an enzyme that is not working for you, there are different supplements that have enzymes that help you break down gluten, I never went this route, but had freinds that did and it worked for them. Talk with your doctor about this one, I guess :)

GF tastes weird, what are some good meals and brands that you recommend?

Here is a great link to help with eating out GF (since you know you'll be out and about and others will want to go places other than Costa Vida or Chick-fil-A)

gfoverflow.com is wonderful to find out which brand of things are gf

here are some meal ideas for you:

{Breakfast} 

Cereal: the only cereals that are gf are the ones in the gf section or Chex (not even off brand chex are gf ) and sometimes rice krispies make gf cereal, but the only gf ones have a HUGE sign on the box saying gf (normal ones arent gf bc they use malted barley in the rice crispies so its not gf)

oatmeal: oats are not technically glutinous but they usually share land with wheat and are severely contaminated, so you can buy gf oats and gf granola (but watch out for normal granola bars that have oats in them, even though the allergy statements do not say: contains wheat/gluten, it still is not gf unless specified gf oats are used)

toast: use gf bread, but dont use your normal toaster, just broil it in the oven and make sure to have your own butter that is not contaminated with bread crumbs (this is important with all spreadable things. I just have my own drawer in the fridge with my own pb, jam, butter, mayo, ect and own shelf in the cupboard, plus i label everything gf so i know its my peanut butter)

 cottage cheese is ok

{Snacks} 

crackers: glutino crackers are pretty good, or nut thins

yogurt: most yoplait is ok, but still make sure it says gluten free on the package because i have gotten home with some that arent ok (just a side note, youll find that some brands always label gf, but some brands are gf but dont label it, and some only label the allergens...thats why i use gfoverflow to find out what brands are ok)

veggies: salads are good, just check out the dressing on gfoverflow first

 chips & salsa: check out the salsa, sometimes they add wheat as thinning agents, so check on gfoverflow for brands

{Lunch}

pasta: if you decide to use gf pasta i like the corn pastas, but you can try the rice ones, sometimes they get mushy though

Sandwiches: this is tricky because it depends on what type of bread you use. usually bread tastes better toasted or put in the microwave, then i do open-faced because it is too dry to have a top and bottom peice of bread. also make sure the meat is gf, sometimes with turkey and hams and such they add broth that is not gf

{Dinner}

pancakes and french toast, obviously use your own flour or bread, but make sure to cook yours first and not use the same pan or flipper if you have touched the normal bread.

{Desserts}

chocolate (most chocolate is ok, just watch out if it is processed on equipment that processes wheat)

 pastries: this is hard to find gluten free. try some cookies though. udi's cookies are good and betty crocker gf mixes are good too. so go ahead and buy the gf cookie, brownie and cake mixes (they are way easier then buying gf flour and substituting because then you have to add xanthum gum and it almost never turns out the same, but the mixes have the other ingredients altered to make it taste pretty good :))  I don't like "Bob's Red Mill" mixes because they use chickpea flour, its healthier but tastes kinda gross.

Here is picture of our "meals ideas" list that I had when we ate gf:

it might be different than you are used to because I also don't like eating meat, cheese, or creamy stuff. But at least there are some ideas :)

Other things I love that are gf (I would still eat these today!)

Van Crackers

Glutino Creme Cookies

Lara bars

Honey Nut Chex

Whenever Bars (ok, this is good because its sugar free and gf)

Rice Cakes/crackers (quaker brand, nabisco, or targets "simply delicious" brand are all good)
Snyders GF Pretzels

Places that have good gf sections:
All of sprouts and whole foods! great labels!
target just got a small gf section and so did walmart
smiths/king soopers always labeled it nicely

I hope you have enjoyed my journey of going gluten free and then going un-gluten free :)

let me know if you have any questions!

good luck on your journey ahead no matter it be gf or not!

Overcoming Celiac Disease Part II

Here is a continuation of my story of going gluten free, and then going "un-gluten free"
If you missed Part I you can read it here


To update you on the timeline of the story. I went gluten free March 2012. I met Nate in April and married him in July 2012. I had the endoscopy to confirm Celiac Disease in October, and the last bit of Part I was in February 2013. 

Anyway, so around that time is when I went in for a colonoscopy to see if I had Chron's disease because despite eating gluten free I was still very sick, but they never went through with it because they had me take a pregnancy test right before they put me out, and since it came back positive then i couldnt have it done. 

(#sidenote if you have ever done colonoscopy prep it is basically the worst prep for any medical procedure, believe me, I know. I have been to the dr sooooo many times over the past 9 years. I had passed out right before and was nauseated from the prep and they asked if I could be pregnant, since i didnt know we took the test and lo and behold, I was.....funniest and craziest way to find out...ever! I recommend anyone who could be pregnant and is going to do a colonoscopy to take a pregnancy test before you do the prep! #ifihadonlyknown)

The next 9 months were not fun (nate said I should be more positive, so lets say that again...the next 9 months were blissful because being pregnant is an amazing miracle, but I was so sick already and then add intense all day all night "morning sickness" for the whole pregnancy...it was a trial to say the least :)    ---you can view that story here) 

 So throughout this whole time, we would try random things like cutting out milk, or soy, or corn. Nothing seemed to help. Then I had eli and my life went all up in a flurry and we had no time to think about my stomach, I had a baby to keep alive!

After he was 5 months old, someone referred both nate and I (at different times) to a NAET specialist. They both had said that they knew someone that had celiac disease that this chiropractor/NAET practitioner was able to rid them of it. It was cheap and he was an LDS bishop so we decided to give it a try. I went in with high hopes that he would be able to heal me in a few appointments like he had the other people. (So there is hope for that for others, ...but little did I know that my case was much more complicated than that of the people's who referred us so it took much longer.)
 but I am ever grateful because it put me on the right path. 

We started going right away. The first appointment he tested me for things I was "rejecting." This is where the story gets interesting, because homeopathic medicine is not what we are used to here in the states!

NAET works with your energy. 

This NAET program, the doctor is trained in being able to read if your body accepts of rejects "energies" (in normal terms that means you are "allergic" or "intolerant" or it makes you sick).  They have small viles of water that have the "energy" of different things like wheat, milk, sugar, lectins, gluten, corn germ, etc (basically everything). You hold the energy in your hand as you lay down and put your other arm straight up in the air. If your body "accepts" the energy your arm keeps its strength, if your body "rejects" the energy or "has an allergy" to the substance, then your arm loses strength and they can push it down towards the table. It sounds weird, but it is very true. (Nate came with me to some appointments and he said it was weird but it really works!) I have been to different NAET drs sooooooooo many times and I try to keep my arm so strong all the time and whenever they did wheat or anything else that made me sick, my arm became so weak. But it would stay strong when they would do a placebo or something that my body wasn't rejecting. So I am a firm believer that this "energy" medicine works. 

Anyway, so what they do, is once they decide what thing your body is rejecting, they are trained to push on certain pressure points on your back to tell your body to start "accepting" the energy (or in plain terms, if its a food, that it will stop making you sick.) Then you completely stay away from the food for 24 hours and after 24 hours I miraculously could start eating the food  again without being sick. (well, some of them took a few times to overcome it, and wheat was the most stubborn)

It sounds crazy but it really helped me. I had allergies to like 40-60 things. Basically everything that you can think of besides white rice, organic eggs, and organic chicken (no spices, salt, oil, nothing else!) was making me sick!! We realized that I had allergies to all sugars, corn, veggies, fruits, nuts, food additives, colorings, etc, etc, etc.  Seriously, my list went on forever. And the Dr I was seeing was not as advanced as some other NAET practitioners, so he could only help with one thing at a time. So I went a lot! He did help me overcome things like sugar and corn and soy. So from seeing him I was a little less sick!

Despite him trying to help my body accept wheat about 10-15 different times, it just wouldn't.

#sidenote

I love NAET. I trust it, and would refer anyone to it! Most of their patients are seen for seasonal allergies, babies that have colic/reflux or have food allergies, autistic kids, infertility, headaches/migraines, food intolerances/IBS (here is a longer list of what they treat). Seriously, it has helped so many people, and if you are having a problem and normal doctors can't figure it out...go to a NAET specialist! Its just that for some reason, he couldn't help me with my complicated problem.

We moved to Denver for Nate's new job and I found another NAET practitioner that was more advanced. (you can go here to find a practitioner in your area, they are all over the place. At the bottom of the page, under "specialties" you can find someone who has been certified in more specific problems. Once the list pulls up of practitioners, then you can see all of their certifications and those who are more advanced obviously have more certifications and more training, but consequently also more expensive. Its your choice of who to go to, Basically Trained Practitioners still help people overcome allergies every day. They are usually cheaper per appointment. So its really up to you)

Anyway, so I went to an acupuncturist here in Denver that was certified for IBS

Ok, so this acupuncturist was so much more advanced. She could try and help with up to 10 or 15 things at a time, but for some reason that stubborn wheat wouldn't go away, and it was holding me back from accepting other foods. It was so frustrating. I remember her doing an acupuncture treatment on me after the NAET treatment (because she was nice and said it was all under one session fee.) So i was sitting in the room with needles all in me, and she is in the hall consoling Eli (about 7 months old) and I am in there crying. Have you ever tried not to move your face or body while crying? its pretty hard. Anyway, I was crying because i was so sad wondering if anyone or anything would be able to rid me of this disease that was consuming my life.

Anyway. So one day I had this idea to look up a Body Talk Practitioner. Long story short, Eli had torticollis   when he was a newborn and the specialist that I took him to to help fix his neck also did Body Talk, so she told me more about it back then and for some reason it came back to me around August 2014. So I found a practitioner (they are also all over the place, to find a practitioner you can go here or just google "Body Talk {insert your area name})

Anyway. I showed up, I told her my symptoms and she said she had helped countless numbers of people with my problems before. She said most people take a few sessions to be "healed" but lets start. She just talks to my body (to learn more about it from them, you can go here). A lot of practitioners will use your wrist as a "yes/no" answering system, but she was very advanced. She just put her hand on my abdomen and would intermittently tell me what my body was saying to her like:

"You had an exerperience when you were 11 and it really made you feel out of control. Your body has been holding on to that energy in your colon and it makes you sick."

She said the same types of things with my small intestine and stomach. Not all were related to a single event, but it had a lot to do with negative thinking, emotions, and energy.

I know...weird right? I thought so too...but just wait!

(i could say "to be continued" here, for dramatic writing effect...haha, but I won't. Some of you have had all the suspense you need.)

So, after about an hour. She said it was miraculous. She went deeper with a first time patient than she almost ever had. She said that to get to the real problem, you have to go deeper and deeper, and your body usually only allows so much in one session, but my body was ready to be healed, and that she went deep enough in this first session. She said that I didn't need to come back unless I wanted to, and that I should be fine.

um....k. Do you know how long I've been sick? I pay you 100 bucks, you put your hand on my stomach for an hour and you say I'm fine?

So I went home. I was scared. I didn't start eating gluten because I had already been faked out so many times in the past. So I waited. I went on a trip to help my sister in law with her newborn, and one of the meals we had, I accidentally had some gluten and I didn't get sick. So when I got home, I tried a little more, and a little more. Miraculously...I wasn't sick! I felt better eating gluten than I even did eating gluten free! It was a miracle.

Miracle. Miracle. Miracle.

From then on I have eaten normal foods.

I sit here now 8 months later telling you it was nothing less than a miracle! I know. You might be sick too. You might have a loved one that is really sick. I know. Its hard. I know it might sound unfathomable to think that you or they could be healed. I know it might be hard to think that you could have the same thing happen to you. It might sound like you are just like me and "really complicated."

BUT it might not be! You might be able to be fixed in just a few NAET appointments or it might take 10. It might take switching practitioners. It might take going to a Body Talk specialist one or four times. I don't know. But I know that for me, it was worth every bit of money. Every bit of effort.

I know.  

There are a lot of holes in my story.

You have a ton of questions.

What would I recommend that you do?

Do I think it'll come back?

Why didn't I tell you sooner? 

Over the past 8 months, when I have told this story to individuals wondering why I am eating normal foods, I have had so many of the same questions. So in Part III, I am going to do a question and answer post. So, post your questions below, email them to me (jessica.hawkes21@gmail.com), PM on FB. Whatever.

until next time!

Overcoming Celiac Disease #nomoreglutenfree

I have had so many people asking me to post this. I know, I would be curious too! How can someone overcome Celiac Disease? Isn't it a life-long thing?   The answer is yes...and no. It is really hard for me to explain intricate things such as this. It emotionally drains me for some reason, but I know I really want to tell you, so I got up the courage to write it out today. I know many people can benefit from what I am going to share!

This is my miracle story of how my life changed. Its very spiritual, and emotional, and well...life changing! It is definitely a miracle, and I will never claim otherwise. The Lord blessed me, and decided it was the right time to guide me to the right things that would heal my body.

Before I share this, I know that many many people are sick right now. Just in my own relatives there are many that have a lot of digestive issues and pains. Many of my friends struggle too. This is my journey. This is how I received help, and maybe it will guide you to something that will help you. I hope, I hope, I hope, because I feel your pain. I know its rough. I wish no one ever had to go through what I went through, but alas we are all mortal and trials come in all shapes and sizes and pains. 

Another thing is that, There are two steps to my healing:

1) going gluten free

2) going to homeopathic doctors to help me overcome celiac disease

in no way am I saying that if everyone does what I did (either of the steps), that they will also be miraculously healed, or that it will help everyone. But I do think that it will help a lot of people. 

 I in no way think that people should eat gluten free unless they have to. I don't think its a good weight loss diet, and that the Lord meant for wheat to be a staple for us. The Word of Wisdom specifically tells us that "all grain is good for the food of man..." and then specifically tells us later that "wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse..." D&C 89:16-17.  BUT some people's bodies just reject wheat. If you are feeling sick, milk or wheat is the first thing I would say to eliminate (I will post later about the best way to go gluten free). BUT if you do find that your body "rejects" any food, my experience can show you that there are ways of eliminating that food "intolerance" or "allergy."

Here goes....

I was sick for a long, long, long time. I am 27 now, and I was sick for 9 of those years. A third of my life. So I understand being sick, every day, all day. Wanting to pull my gut out. Doing homework in the bathroom, saying no to dates because of my pains.  Many people that new me from 18-27 have told me that they never knew that I was so sick, (except my companions and def my husband. #shoutouttonate he went through so much with me being sick! I think he was just as grateful as I was to overcome it!) I guess I was good at smiling through it? I can def say that that I went through most of it alone, so I don't want you to go through this alone! I am here for you!

Anyway, it started when I was a senior in highschool. I remember that food just didn't settle well and I would get really tired. When I went to college the next year, the problem got really bad. I deduced that it was lactose intolerance since I was always sick coming home from my job at a frozen yogurt shop. So my family had to deal with me "not being able to eat anything with milk in it" or taking those lactaid pills (none of which helped me, but i see why now.) Anyway, I just kind of went on in my life always having digestive issues. 

When I was 20, I had gallbladder issues. I started having severe pains in my abdomen once a day or so. Then it progressed to every day, then every time I ate, then all the time, then almost non-stop. It kinda felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife all the time, it would double me over and take my breath away. It was so bad, amidst finals week I went to the doctor many times to figure it out, and they finally deduced that it was probably my gallbladder. So a week later I had emergency surgery. Funny thing is that the doctor said "well, we'll take this out and hope it takes the pain away, then we'll know it was your gallbladder..." um...k, thanks for doing an experiment with my body!! haha, jk. It was the right thing, they said my gallbladder was all shriveled up in a constant state of contraction. Anyway, who knows why that happened...one explanation is that some people with celiac disease when they don't control it with a gluten free (GF) diet it can affect their gallbladder.

Well, my gallbladder is gone now, the pain went away. I still have digestive issues that reoccur from that when I don't eat for a long time (fasting is always a fun experience!!) but those issues compared to everything else are minimal :)

Ok, then I went on my mission. I got really really sick. The MTC was horrible. I lost 18 lbs there and couldnt eat anything. I was there during thanksgiving and christmas and I remember eating a roll and some veggies for thanksgiving while everyone else had their feast. They didn't know what was wrong with me and at one point I was on 8 different medications. Some to help the problems, some to alleviate the side effects of the other medicines. It. was. horrible. When I got to Taiwan i said "heck with these meds" and stopped taking them... it mostly went away for the first 9 months. The last 9 months of my mission I got really really sick again and lost a bunch of weight (my family said i looked like a chemo patient when i got home #eek). Anyway, it pains me to remember how sick I was during those years, and the stresses of being a missionary and being sick are no fun, but I am eternally grateful that I was not so sick that I had to come home. It was a huge blessing

I got home and got right into american food. I had become a lot more healthy by this point, so fruits, veggies, and lots of whole grains were my staple. Little did I know at that point that whole wheat was hurting me the worst. The thing about celieac disease (or gluten intolerance) is that it hurts your digestive system. When I would eat foods my body "rejected" (with celiac disease it means your body is rejecting gluten --a protein found on the wheat--, I would later find out that my body was rejecting more than just wheat...but we'll get to that.)  So when your body comes in contact with something it is "rejecting" it creates antibodies against it. So then, it fights it like its bacteria. So what happens is when the wheat would touch the villi in my digestive system, my body would actually attack the villi in my intestines (so my body was attacking itself!). they would become very inflamed, kind of like huge sores all over my gut. 

So, what would happen after eating lots of gluten for a long time, my whole gut became one big sore. So even if I ate a meal with no gluten, i would still feel lots of pain and "sick" because of the wounds that were ever present. You can see why it was such a long process for me to figure out what was making me sick. (I found out later, from doing expiriments after going completely gf and then adding it back in, that the symptoms didnt appear for 12-24 hours for me, so it was really hard to find out when I got contaminated and this made total sense why I had such a hard time figuring out that it was gluten that was making me so sick to start with.)

I was sick almost every day, all day. The only way to explain what I went through is to imagine this: imagine if you ate a ball of nails. Imagine feeling it move from your small intestine, around all the little curves, and then into your large intestine. You would be very aware. You would know it, and feel it, and want to get rid of it. This is how every bit of food and gas felt as it went through me. It was this way from about age 22-25. I was always bloated, but gas was painful. Like I said, it felt like a ball of nails that would never come out. I spent endless hours in the bathroom doing my homework. Every date was filled with many bathroom trips. I wonder what my roommates thought of me, haha (i'm too scared to ask, but i'm sure they thought I was weird.) 

Anyway, I new I had a problem that needed to be fixed. I tried going milk free. sugar free (I did make it whole year! but that wasn't it). I tried doing cleanses, probiotics, eating healthier, eating more yogurt. Finally one day I was telling my friend Brittany about how sick I was and how I was soooo tired (I needed like 10 hours of sleep). She told me that I should try going gf, and it had really helped her. So I tried it and it did help. well....i would say it took away half of my symptoms. but that was amazing enough. (Ill explain later that my body was rejecting a lot of other foods, and thats why it didnt help me 100%, but it was the main culprit so it did help a lot). Since it made such a big difference,  I was religious to my gf diet.

#sidenote

I met nate a few weeks after starting to go gf so thats how all his family and friends knew me. My family I'm sure thought I was this weirdo that kept skipping from diet to diet, and now i tell them I don't eat gf they prob think its a new fad. but if they read this, than i think they would understand why i went through so many different things and why i am the way I am now. 

So, since i was still sick even though I was eating gf, the only thing I knew to do was to be more strict. Make sure food wasn't made in a place with wheat, make sure I didn't inhale it. I would make nate brush his teeth before he could kiss me. I'm sure I drove everyone nuts, especially when people brought food over to our house after I had eli, but what could I say. I knew that I was still kinda sick and that eating gluten made me really sick. So I was paranoid. 

After 6 months of eating gf we wanted to find out more about why I was still sick and if they could help me any more. So because of good insurance, I had an endoscopy where they put you out and they stick a camera down your throat and go and take a few peices of my intestines to examine them. they made me eat wheat for 4 weeks leading up to that, and it was horrible. I hated it! I remember thinking that if the diagnosis came back negative for celiac disease that I would still eat gf because it made me so sick. But they called me a few days later to confirm that I had celiac disease because they could see the inflamation it was causing in my intestines. So, I went back to eating gf again. 

A few months later i was still very very sick, well not as sick as eating gluten, but its horrible to eat gf and still be sick. I had a preisthood blessing around this time that said that "if I were faithful, that the Lord would show me how to be healed."  I was so excited. I thought I would be free of pain soon. But the Lord had different timing for me. He knew I needed some more refining. So I did what I felt was right, and a long year and a half later I finally was healed!

to be continued....