takes 4 minutes to read :)
We hear about it all the time: "I'm on this new diet..." or "we're trying the 'envelope' budgeting method..." or or "I'm trying this new schedule of waking up early..."
What happens? Why are most people not able to keep these new habits? Why do 80% of diets not only fail, but the majority gain more weight back? "About 20% of people go back to their past year’s practice and slowly throwing out the new year's resolution after a month." (http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/statistics-facts-setting-years-resolutions) Why does this happen?
We first must understand what is required to maintain a good habit. The Lord has shown us ways to become that help us truly change. We learn that there are Christlike attributes that are required to make changes needed, but not only a change for a few weeks, but something more. Elder Uchtdorf states: "Discipleship is the pursuit of...happiness. It is the path to our best...self. Let us resolve to follow the Savior and work with diligence to become the person we were designed to become." (Of Regrets and Resolutions, Oct 2012). He hits the nail on the head here. We must use diligence in becoming. This is key to change. (see also Elder Bednar's Oct 2012 talk: "Converted Unto The Lord"). Wait, to change my money spending habits, I need to become more Christlike? Yes! The Lord can help us change in all ways!
Alma the younger applied these principles to make "lasting changes." He didn't rely on his one experience, or even that first few months after the angel visited him. In Alma 5:46 & 49 he states: "Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true...And now I say unto you that this is the order after which I am called, yea, to preach unto my beloved brethren, yea, and every one that dwelleth in the land..." Alma fasted and prayed and then dedicated his life to what he wanted to become. Preaching to "everyone in the land" wasn't easy. His old life was probably "easier," but he knew that he didn't want to live that old life. Yes, he might have still lived in his same environment (maybe he got rid of some bad friends or threw out bad CDs or movies, or even shredded a few credit cards) but he changed because he decided to work hard (fasting and praying many days) and become someone who was better. I bet that he created such good habits that when he came upon the same temptations a year later, he didn't even flinch....but remember, it still took work, for a while, but the end result is astounding!!!
Don't get discouraged! Change is possible! All things are possible through Christ! Alma 26:12 states: "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak...for in his strength I can do all things." Miracles can and will happen. We must decide we want to become a person who follows Christ in all things; a person who has self-control in all aspects of life; a diligent and dedicated person.
Ok, now this sounds wonderful, and I might even get a few people so excited they'll throw away the Oreos in the cupboard, but this is not our ultimate goal. Our goal is to truly change; to become. To come back a year later and have become a person who can have self control and not binge on junk food, who can say "no" to the oreos in the cupboard.
Here are some suggestions for changing from the Book of Jessica's Knowledge:
- Decide what you vision is for who you would like to "become"
- (i.e. an organized person, a diligent person, a person with self-control, a non-hypocritical person who doesn't hide their actions, etc.)
- Write down all the things you feel would help you accomplish this goal--write down small specific things (not: lose weight or spend less) ideas are: stop binge eating, eat more fruits and vegetables, eat less meat, buy or eat less chocolate/sugar/fatty foods, exercise more, keep a record of money spent, calculate budget monthly, don't yell at the kids, etc.
- Then pick ONE thing to change.
- Remember this is a lifestyle we are changing. This is something you really want to happen that will help you become the person you want to be. It might take a few months, but it might take year or two to change it, BUT what if you could come back in a year and know that you became a person that did this thing consistently? Its worth it, and its the pattern that the Lord has set forth the make changes.
- Ok, so pick that ONE thing and work on it.
- If you are working on sweets, DON'T cut other calories!! Don't be mad at yourself for the other things you are doing wrong, just work on it and make it a lifestyle change.
- Once you feel it is in your lifestyle and you don't need to think about it (i.e. its natural to grab a fruit for a snack instead of chips) then go back to the list and pick the next one.
This has worked in my life! It took me 4 years, but I set a goal to "become a person who has control over the natural man"...and I have lost 35 lbs, I have set a lifestyle of exercise, little or no sweets, 5-8 fruits and veggies daily, budgeting, meditating, anger management, facebook time management :) etc. I know you can do it!! Take it one step at a time and become!
