Ok, so I havent written in here for a while, but instead of writing and figuring out this whole blog, I should just add as I learn, and maybe one day it will become a true blog......ok, thats beside the point. What I really want to write about today is Birth.
April 6th: Birth of Savior, His Resurrection (true rebirth), Birth of the church
Now, today was not my "official rebirth", and I have had many, but I wanted to post about some prominent moments in my life.
Birth of Love of Book of Mormon: when i was 14, One day I decided that I wanted to read the book of mormon in 40 days. I woke up at 5:30 and read it for an hour each day (I think it took me 50 days in the end, but that doesnt matter) what 14 year old does that? It was amazing to have the Spirit prompt me to read the book like that. I had been reading it previous to that, but this was when my birth of LOVE, PASSION, EXHILARATION for the Book of Mormon came. Ever since then I can't be separated from this book. No matter what we study in Sunday school, seminary, institute, ect. I just still have to have the Book of Mormon as a part of my daily life. I told an investigator "If there wasnt the book of Mormon, there would be no Sister Hawkes" "I know the Book of Mormon is true more than I know that I am breathing right now."....and when I testified to the members of an area I served in so long, I said, "Keep your life focused on the Book of Mormon and the temple, and you will never go astray." I bought a small Book of Mormon and a cover and carry it every where I go. It is a part of me....I LOVE THE BOOK OF MORMON!!!!
Birth of Knowing Christ: When I was a kid, I remember just thinking that the atonement was happy and that it was nice to feel, but then it progressed to knowing that if I made a big mistake i could be forgiven, and that others had been forgiven. Then I remember coming to realization of Alma 7:11-13 that the atonement covered not just my sins, but my sadness (I felt like the Church came to a realization of that at the same time because I had never heard of the concept before, but it was prob just because of the progression of learning.) then one day, I realized, not only is Christ your Savior, but my Savior (while singing "I know that my Redeemer Lives")....then as related below, i realized that I am imperfect and that the natural man and any infirmities must be cleansed for me to become like God and Christ. Gal 2:20 hit me so hard, that I live because of Christ, he is the support of my every breath, and that I need him every moment, and he is the source of everything! I testify that I know that more now than before, and that progression of knowledge and our testimonies is what is true success is.
Birth of knowing I am a daughter of God, and Heavenly Father has a specific plan of Happiness for me: As all of these, they were a journey of many years, but the day it sunk deep into my heart was in the MTC when I was reading Moroni 7. When I read about "all good things come from Christ." I had a DEEP desire to really and truly KNOW where and how I could get that. As I read furthur and read about the covenants God makes to his children in Moroni 7:31-33 it HIT me SOOOOOO strong that God knows me, that He has a plan for me, that I conversed with Him in the pre-earth life, and that I, Jessica Marie Hawkes, have a purpose of living on this earth.
Birth of my new me: My mission had a lot to do with this, and I will FOREVER be grateful to all powers and unseen hands that got me on a mission, for it changed my whole life. As many of you know, I talk about "before my mission..." and I usually am talking about how "bad" of a life I lived, in all reality my life wasnt bad. It just wasnt good, or bringing me the happiness I have now. I felt lazy, depressed (not all the time, but just not happy a lot, very emotional roller coaster), sick (health wise, wasnt feeling good alot), selfish, self righteous, and very acheivement oriented. I was a good person, and had a lot of friends, but...lets just say Im glad I changed.
So, now who am I? How did I get here? it wasnt just one thing that happened, but it def has one main contributor: reading the Book of Mormon in 5 months on my mission. I know this isnt "fast" but it was a stretch to read 5 pages a day with a specific focus on the natural man and becoming more christ like. As I read things such as Jacob 4:7, Mosiah 3:19, Mosiah 15:7, Alma 26:12, Alma 5...I came to understand that I was fallen. That I NEEDED the atonement of Christ to purify my soul and body. Everything started to change, I became more patient, loving, understanding, balanced, flexible, relationship driven, more self control....by all means, I'm not perfect today, but I would say I am more enjoyable to be around (believe me, i lived with my self both times, hehe). I know it is through Christ that I became a new person, that I was put on a path that is guiding me to the Celestial Kingdom.
Happy Birth Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment