grilling waffles. milkshakes. and mom life. #notgrillingmilkshakessilly

wow

all I have to say is...wow

no one likes to be sick.  

5 days!

ugh!

there should be a law that moms can't get sick.

I mean, growing up my mom always said "moms don't have germs." And I only remember her getting sick once! 

once! my whole growing up life.

#oksheissupermom #sheprobablywassickmore #andjustdidntshowit

I remember once during this 5 day period when eli was asleep and i just watched a spider climb along the ceiling without getting up to kill it. That's when I was like, "I know i'm pretty sick to do nothing about that spider." haha

Ok, back to my life...Eli was sick 2 of those days with me, and luckily he sleeps more when he is sick! Seriously, one day a 4 hr nap, that night 13 hrs (I had to go check on him to make sure he was alive still and woke him up). 2 hrs later he fell asleep on my bed for another 4 hr nap! crazy. 

So, I didn't even get him dressed all day...well, of course I didn't get dressed either, I am sure I was in the same clothes 3 days in a row when nate got home again, but this time I had a way better excuse!

Anyway, when nate got home he took eli outside to go on a walk and this is what pjs look like with a jacket and shoes on top, haha.

So, i enjoyed those days! The next day. He was his normal toddler self, and I was still wanting to lay there and die #basically #oknotreally #saidfordramaticeffect. Good thing Nate could cancel his night life and stay at home at with me.

Ok, nate doesnt have that kind of night life, I mean like home teaching, scouts and such, haha. 

So, today i woke up and was like: my stomach is feeling normal!!!! woohoo!

So what was the first thing i did after visiting teaching this morning???? yep, straight to get a strawberry milkshake. I blame it on commercials! Seriously, I was watching all these episodes of 19 kids and counting whilst laying in bed moaning #mynewdirtypleasure #wellnotsodirty #itsactuallyprettyclean #justthatishouldntwatchtvsomuch

anyway, i was watching these episodes online and they had the same 3 commercials come up every 10 mins, and one of them was for dairy queen's new blizzard menu...and although i wanted to throw up thinking about eating one right then, I knew my first stop when i felt better was milkshake!!! I wanted one so badly, I almost left the house solely just to get one even though it would have made me so sick...but i held off. 

then my doula came over today to have a fun little chat with me to prepare for the natural birth of our little one...and she brought me a sandwich. After she left i inhaled it...then inhaled the pizza nate had left over from dinner last night.

#seriously

#whatpregnantwomendowhentheyhaventeatenin5days

************

enough with the pity party. 

I was looking on my phone and realized I have this funny picture to go with a funny story from last saturday.

So, saturday morning I woke up and said to myself:

"self, I want to make this the best day for Nate and Eli."

So, what did I do? I went out and made Nate his favorite: waffles.

ok, not looking like normal waffles?

prob wondering why I am grilling the waffles instead of putting them in the waffle iron.

Well, my wonderful brain forgot to read everything in the instructions, and I had one cup left of the mix...but I put in enough liquid for 2 cups.

um...that makes for really runny, really weird waffles that don't turn out.

so, nate woke up and was like, lets just grill it since the waffle iron isnt cooking it...and then add flour and make pancakes. So we did, and they became too thick. So then since the middle wasnt cooking, we cut the pancakes in half and grilled them that way. So we had one waffle that was really thin and greasy.

and 4 pancakes that had to be cut in half and charred that way.

but...nate was very grateful for my thoughtfulness! and he didn't even care that he had to come and help me finish everything because my prego body got too tired to finish. haha #lifeofapregnantlady #wishmybrainworked #andmybodyforthatmatter #goodthingnateissonice

on another fun note:

So, you know when you are so proud of your son that he is learning new things. I love that I can tell Eli to do something and he understand almost anything I ask him to do. So, I take advantage of that and ask him to throw things away. pretty sure he's gotten really good at it...but pretty sure we have lost lots of stuff lately and that Eli is now just throwing it away, and I mean, I can't just check the garbage every 10 mins to see if he threw something away, ya know?

#goodbyeshoes

#goodbyeimportantbills

#goodbyeanythingthateligetshishandson

K, but seriously. I am loving this mom stuff. 

Eli is seriously the cutest and he makes my heart smile all the time!

He is learning so many new words.

We basically have full conversations now

Here he is with Nate at a museum the other day, so excited to see the "burh"

Well,

glad to be back!

I missed chatting with ya'll each day.

hopefully I won't be out for that long again!

Overcoming Celiac Disease Part II

Here is a continuation of my story of going gluten free, and then going "un-gluten free"
If you missed Part I you can read it here


To update you on the timeline of the story. I went gluten free March 2012. I met Nate in April and married him in July 2012. I had the endoscopy to confirm Celiac Disease in October, and the last bit of Part I was in February 2013. 

Anyway, so around that time is when I went in for a colonoscopy to see if I had Chron's disease because despite eating gluten free I was still very sick, but they never went through with it because they had me take a pregnancy test right before they put me out, and since it came back positive then i couldnt have it done. 

(#sidenote if you have ever done colonoscopy prep it is basically the worst prep for any medical procedure, believe me, I know. I have been to the dr sooooo many times over the past 9 years. I had passed out right before and was nauseated from the prep and they asked if I could be pregnant, since i didnt know we took the test and lo and behold, I was.....funniest and craziest way to find out...ever! I recommend anyone who could be pregnant and is going to do a colonoscopy to take a pregnancy test before you do the prep! #ifihadonlyknown)

The next 9 months were not fun (nate said I should be more positive, so lets say that again...the next 9 months were blissful because being pregnant is an amazing miracle, but I was so sick already and then add intense all day all night "morning sickness" for the whole pregnancy...it was a trial to say the least :)    ---you can view that story here) 

 So throughout this whole time, we would try random things like cutting out milk, or soy, or corn. Nothing seemed to help. Then I had eli and my life went all up in a flurry and we had no time to think about my stomach, I had a baby to keep alive!

After he was 5 months old, someone referred both nate and I (at different times) to a NAET specialist. They both had said that they knew someone that had celiac disease that this chiropractor/NAET practitioner was able to rid them of it. It was cheap and he was an LDS bishop so we decided to give it a try. I went in with high hopes that he would be able to heal me in a few appointments like he had the other people. (So there is hope for that for others, ...but little did I know that my case was much more complicated than that of the people's who referred us so it took much longer.)
 but I am ever grateful because it put me on the right path. 

We started going right away. The first appointment he tested me for things I was "rejecting." This is where the story gets interesting, because homeopathic medicine is not what we are used to here in the states!

NAET works with your energy. 

This NAET program, the doctor is trained in being able to read if your body accepts of rejects "energies" (in normal terms that means you are "allergic" or "intolerant" or it makes you sick).  They have small viles of water that have the "energy" of different things like wheat, milk, sugar, lectins, gluten, corn germ, etc (basically everything). You hold the energy in your hand as you lay down and put your other arm straight up in the air. If your body "accepts" the energy your arm keeps its strength, if your body "rejects" the energy or "has an allergy" to the substance, then your arm loses strength and they can push it down towards the table. It sounds weird, but it is very true. (Nate came with me to some appointments and he said it was weird but it really works!) I have been to different NAET drs sooooooooo many times and I try to keep my arm so strong all the time and whenever they did wheat or anything else that made me sick, my arm became so weak. But it would stay strong when they would do a placebo or something that my body wasn't rejecting. So I am a firm believer that this "energy" medicine works. 

Anyway, so what they do, is once they decide what thing your body is rejecting, they are trained to push on certain pressure points on your back to tell your body to start "accepting" the energy (or in plain terms, if its a food, that it will stop making you sick.) Then you completely stay away from the food for 24 hours and after 24 hours I miraculously could start eating the food  again without being sick. (well, some of them took a few times to overcome it, and wheat was the most stubborn)

It sounds crazy but it really helped me. I had allergies to like 40-60 things. Basically everything that you can think of besides white rice, organic eggs, and organic chicken (no spices, salt, oil, nothing else!) was making me sick!! We realized that I had allergies to all sugars, corn, veggies, fruits, nuts, food additives, colorings, etc, etc, etc.  Seriously, my list went on forever. And the Dr I was seeing was not as advanced as some other NAET practitioners, so he could only help with one thing at a time. So I went a lot! He did help me overcome things like sugar and corn and soy. So from seeing him I was a little less sick!

Despite him trying to help my body accept wheat about 10-15 different times, it just wouldn't.

#sidenote

I love NAET. I trust it, and would refer anyone to it! Most of their patients are seen for seasonal allergies, babies that have colic/reflux or have food allergies, autistic kids, infertility, headaches/migraines, food intolerances/IBS (here is a longer list of what they treat). Seriously, it has helped so many people, and if you are having a problem and normal doctors can't figure it out...go to a NAET specialist! Its just that for some reason, he couldn't help me with my complicated problem.

We moved to Denver for Nate's new job and I found another NAET practitioner that was more advanced. (you can go here to find a practitioner in your area, they are all over the place. At the bottom of the page, under "specialties" you can find someone who has been certified in more specific problems. Once the list pulls up of practitioners, then you can see all of their certifications and those who are more advanced obviously have more certifications and more training, but consequently also more expensive. Its your choice of who to go to, Basically Trained Practitioners still help people overcome allergies every day. They are usually cheaper per appointment. So its really up to you)

Anyway, so I went to an acupuncturist here in Denver that was certified for IBS

Ok, so this acupuncturist was so much more advanced. She could try and help with up to 10 or 15 things at a time, but for some reason that stubborn wheat wouldn't go away, and it was holding me back from accepting other foods. It was so frustrating. I remember her doing an acupuncture treatment on me after the NAET treatment (because she was nice and said it was all under one session fee.) So i was sitting in the room with needles all in me, and she is in the hall consoling Eli (about 7 months old) and I am in there crying. Have you ever tried not to move your face or body while crying? its pretty hard. Anyway, I was crying because i was so sad wondering if anyone or anything would be able to rid me of this disease that was consuming my life.

Anyway. So one day I had this idea to look up a Body Talk Practitioner. Long story short, Eli had torticollis   when he was a newborn and the specialist that I took him to to help fix his neck also did Body Talk, so she told me more about it back then and for some reason it came back to me around August 2014. So I found a practitioner (they are also all over the place, to find a practitioner you can go here or just google "Body Talk {insert your area name})

Anyway. I showed up, I told her my symptoms and she said she had helped countless numbers of people with my problems before. She said most people take a few sessions to be "healed" but lets start. She just talks to my body (to learn more about it from them, you can go here). A lot of practitioners will use your wrist as a "yes/no" answering system, but she was very advanced. She just put her hand on my abdomen and would intermittently tell me what my body was saying to her like:

"You had an exerperience when you were 11 and it really made you feel out of control. Your body has been holding on to that energy in your colon and it makes you sick."

She said the same types of things with my small intestine and stomach. Not all were related to a single event, but it had a lot to do with negative thinking, emotions, and energy.

I know...weird right? I thought so too...but just wait!

(i could say "to be continued" here, for dramatic writing effect...haha, but I won't. Some of you have had all the suspense you need.)

So, after about an hour. She said it was miraculous. She went deeper with a first time patient than she almost ever had. She said that to get to the real problem, you have to go deeper and deeper, and your body usually only allows so much in one session, but my body was ready to be healed, and that she went deep enough in this first session. She said that I didn't need to come back unless I wanted to, and that I should be fine.

um....k. Do you know how long I've been sick? I pay you 100 bucks, you put your hand on my stomach for an hour and you say I'm fine?

So I went home. I was scared. I didn't start eating gluten because I had already been faked out so many times in the past. So I waited. I went on a trip to help my sister in law with her newborn, and one of the meals we had, I accidentally had some gluten and I didn't get sick. So when I got home, I tried a little more, and a little more. Miraculously...I wasn't sick! I felt better eating gluten than I even did eating gluten free! It was a miracle.

Miracle. Miracle. Miracle.

From then on I have eaten normal foods.

I sit here now 8 months later telling you it was nothing less than a miracle! I know. You might be sick too. You might have a loved one that is really sick. I know. Its hard. I know it might sound unfathomable to think that you or they could be healed. I know it might be hard to think that you could have the same thing happen to you. It might sound like you are just like me and "really complicated."

BUT it might not be! You might be able to be fixed in just a few NAET appointments or it might take 10. It might take switching practitioners. It might take going to a Body Talk specialist one or four times. I don't know. But I know that for me, it was worth every bit of money. Every bit of effort.

I know.  

There are a lot of holes in my story.

You have a ton of questions.

What would I recommend that you do?

Do I think it'll come back?

Why didn't I tell you sooner? 

Over the past 8 months, when I have told this story to individuals wondering why I am eating normal foods, I have had so many of the same questions. So in Part III, I am going to do a question and answer post. So, post your questions below, email them to me (jessica.hawkes21@gmail.com), PM on FB. Whatever.

until next time!

stalking pregnant women

so...hi. I'll just be over here hiding in my apartment 

I have a herd of gluten free frenzied friends #allerterationisawesome who are out to get me until I finish my story of going un-gluten free.

I'm writing it...i promise. it'll be here soon :)

but until then...lets party...prego style.

haha

jk

I just kinda wish I could have a secret stalker that I would later kidnap and kife their video footage of me , just so I wouldn't have to pay someone to video me.

Well, not that I am so funny to video, but, seriously, pregnant women are crazy.

#sorrywithsomuchpregnancytalk #itsjustthatithinkaboutitalot #youknow? #thisbellystalksme

I was told the other day that I walk funny....

so with that said, I am apparently funny to watch, or at least funny watching walk or is it watching funny walk...whatever

Um....how about last sunday. I am sitting there on the couch. Eli was just put down. Nate usually takes a nap on sundays and I do all I can to stay awake (aka, eat or bake then eat) #dontfollowthatexample #hopefullythathabitwillbeoverwith...in2months

Anyway, Nate asked if I was ok, and realized i was crying. 

Here is our convo:

"I am sorry, I don't know why I am crying."

"Its ok. You're pregnant."

"No, for real. I don't know why I am crying. I am not sad, or mad. I don't want to cry. The tears are just streaming down my face and I don't want them to. "

"Its ok."

 "Just tell me about what you learned in sunday school/preisthood" (#sidenote, since I am in the primary presidency, I miss all that stuff so I like to get updated to radar if there is any crazy doctrine being taught in our ward...haha jk. I just like to)

So nate started telling me

then I start sobbing

"I am sooooooo sorry. Really, I don't know why I am crying."

"Jessica, its ok. I don't want to sweat, but I still do. So, your crying is like me sweating. You still love me even though I sweat, and I still love you when you cry, even though both are uncontrollable. But, you at least you smell much better than i do :)"

haha, isnt that so nice??

well, the part about me uncontrollably crying isnt. I dont know why i do that but, isnt nate so cute?

seriously, I don't know who its harder to be. The pregnant lady or the husband of the pregnant lady....

how about this one. 

last weekend I went to workout at our gym while nate watched eli. #nicetobealone

i might or might not have driven  to the gym. It might or might not be like right around the corner. So, my workouts at the gym these days consist of me sitting there, just moving my legs on a reclined bike. I still burn calories, and it really helps with depression, but I still think its funny. Its not even hard...but...um...I also, might or might not have had to stop like 4 or 5 times. and I might or might not have been gone for almost an hour, but i watched tv for most of that time...I mean, might or might not have watched tv. 

my two favorite things these days are my maternity pants and my new/old non-maternity/maternity undershirt. I wear them like every day!! Seriously. I mean, my pants dont even have to be unbuttoned to go to the bathroom...and being large with child, I have to go like all the time. But sometimes its so annoying I just dont...but not with these pants!! 

And my undershirt is a new addition to my maternity wardrobe! I am super excited. well, here's the back story:

We decided back in november that it was ok for me to get a smart phone if I didn't buy any clothes until after the baby was born. So I have been living out of my old maternity wardrobe that i spent a total of $2 on last time. Good thing I had people give me stuff otherwise I wouldnt have had maternity pants at all. Since i bought two shirts at a yardsale, and just wear my normal clothes for my whole pregnancy. But it gets annoying, because the bigger I get, the less clothes I have to wear. Anyway, so I found this wonder tee undershirt that was super long but long sleeved, so I cut off the sleeves and its the perfect undershirt to cover up my lower belly #nodraftshere

woohoo! so if you see me wearing the same clothes everyday...dont worry. Its all to save money and for the love my smart phone!

Also, sleeping is the funniest thing with pregnant women! seriously. we use so many pillows! right now, my thing is that I have to use a neck pillow to sleep...but not how you usually use it.

Like, we are commanded by the OB Nazi's to not sleep on our back. So side it is. But my ears hurt to sleep on my side #onlywhenimpregnant like really really hurt. wake up yelling it hurts. But only on the side i am sleeping. its weird I know. anyway, so i decided to try not having pressure on my ear, and it works! So, now i sleep with my ear in the neck hole of my neck pillow.

and a pillow under that

and a pillow between my knees to align the hips right

and a pillow behind my back sometimes to stabilize

I will soon graduate to a pillow under my belly.

Seriously, I can't wait to have this baby so I can finally sleep

#saidnosecondmomever 

#weallknowyoudontsleepwithanewborn


Well, I am off to get Eli some food. He is so cute these days!

(doesnt he kinda look like an Abercrombie kid? Or a mini engineer haha
I take no credit for the cute clothes, my friend just gave them to me :)


He can say a lot of foods now...well, i can translate what he is saying. It takes him so much energy to say "orange" that he deserves one. Like right now! 

so, see ya!
#momlife
#ilovebeingamom

creepy things been happenin' up in here yo

You guys, I don't know what is happening here, but over the past week, we've had some weird stuff goin on!

#creepy

Nate and I were just sitting there playing Jots and Tittles on sunday and all of the sudden a phone starts ringing in our couch! it was neither of our phones! all I could think of was "someone just called, and i probably answered it and now they can hear everything we are saying for...ever....i better watch what i say!" #ithinktheweirdestthings

#creepier

Yesterday, I was organizing Eli's room with all the newborn stuff #newbornsneedlotsofstuff and all of the sudden I hear a man's voice in our apartment. It sounded like a pandora commercial, so I went out and checked my phone...

#creepierier

Last night in the middle of the night, my alarm went off...not my phone alarm, but-my-old-fogey-alarm-clock-from-when-i-was-12-that-i-only-use-to-tell-time-for-and-never-set, yeah that alarm. It went off. I was like, "nate, what is that?" he's like "its an alarm" (nate never gets weirded out in his sleep, I have to like wake him up to tell him to go check on things, haha)

I was like "um...why is an alarm going off in the middle of the night?" so I hit snooze

9 mins later...same alarm. (i guess I wasn't so awake, eh?)

#creepiestofall

So, the other night, we were just sitting there sleeping. Wait, we were laying there sleeping. Middle of the night. and all of the sudden our printer turns on. I wake up and am like, "um...whats that?" Nate's like, "oh its just the printer." #seewhatimean I'm like. "Nate, why is the printer going off. That's so weird." 

I made him go check it out because I was so creeped out. 

#backflash

about a year ago when we lived at BYU, we were just sitting there in our apartment and all of the sudden our printer turns on and starts printing. I am like freaking out because...why is it printing when we didn't do anything?? the first thought that pops into my mind is that someone is sending us crazy messsages saying "we're coming to get you"or how they've been watching us for a while (how did I even think of that?? I don't even watch scary movies #weird). Anyway, i was so freaked out that I made nate look at the paper that printed and it was.....

gasp,...

our neighbor's taxes. Seriously, like one of the most personal documents ever, and it was printing at our house. We started laughing, how is this even possible?

THEN

it happened again. 

I am still pretty freaked out, but now I think its funny too. We finally called him to let him know his printing job was done and that it'll be 7 cents per sheet #toughcrowd #hahajk. Apparently, he had selected a printer, and since our apartments were so close, he got the signal from our printer and it came to us. Haha...and no, we did not look at any of the info on his taxes #we'renotcreepers!

#backtooriginalstory

so, its the middle of the night like 1 am, and our printer is on and all I can think of is the creepy marijuana man sending us messages

#backflash

back in january our apartment would get filled with marijuana smoke multiple times a day. We realized that it was not coming through the windows or walls, but through our vents! Seriously, who connects people's vents?? Anyway, so after fighting it out with our apartment managers for a week or so... all the while being forced to get high while pregnant with a toddler. We finally moved apartments in the complex. (they wanted to make us pay $5000 to break our lease #ihatefineprint...so we stayed).  During that time they had put around notices that you can get evicted for smoking in your apartment. (but we found out that it would take a minimum of 45 days to get him evicted, so we decided to move the next day...aint no one got time to be preggers with a child getting high for 45 days!)

Look it up, marijuana smoke is worse than cigarette smoke. The THC that gets you high when you smoke it is actually released in the smoke, so its like you are smoking when you just inhale the smoke! crazy!! Good news is that it was almost always in our main living area, and never in Eli's room and rarely in our room. But we did leave and stay at a friends house over the weekend because it was so bad it would burn our eyes and we would get all loopy.....

anyway

so, i have run into the marijuana man (the man I am sure that was the problem)  so I have run into him multiple times since then. He always has his dogs with him, and I'm always alone #eek. I am glad I have pepper spray and that I am reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, so that I can be protected #armorofgod #ihopehedoesntreadmyblog 

#backtothestory

so in my sensical mind, all i can think as our printer is freaking out is that the marijuana man is sending us messages about how he's coming to get us. 

ok, creepy things are creepy, but once you figure out what it really is. Its just funny:

phone ringing: we still have no idea, we never found a phone. Someone outside must have had the loudest ring tone ever and it sounded like it was coming from underneath me

#orsomeoneisstilllisteningtous

weird man voice:

still have no idea, but i checked and no one was in my house, and it wasnt my phone for sure

alarm going off:

i'm sure eli just pressed some buttons and turned on my alarm clock

printer:

its def the marijuana man

jk, we realized that the power had gone off and just turned back on, and our printer takes like 8 mins to turn on. 

here's one more funny/creepy thing that happened to me: this is my post from a year and a half ago when eli was only 3 weeks old that I posted on facebook:

what's the  creepiest non-creepy thing that has ever happened to you??

Overcoming Celiac Disease #nomoreglutenfree

I have had so many people asking me to post this. I know, I would be curious too! How can someone overcome Celiac Disease? Isn't it a life-long thing?   The answer is yes...and no. It is really hard for me to explain intricate things such as this. It emotionally drains me for some reason, but I know I really want to tell you, so I got up the courage to write it out today. I know many people can benefit from what I am going to share!

This is my miracle story of how my life changed. Its very spiritual, and emotional, and well...life changing! It is definitely a miracle, and I will never claim otherwise. The Lord blessed me, and decided it was the right time to guide me to the right things that would heal my body.

Before I share this, I know that many many people are sick right now. Just in my own relatives there are many that have a lot of digestive issues and pains. Many of my friends struggle too. This is my journey. This is how I received help, and maybe it will guide you to something that will help you. I hope, I hope, I hope, because I feel your pain. I know its rough. I wish no one ever had to go through what I went through, but alas we are all mortal and trials come in all shapes and sizes and pains. 

Another thing is that, There are two steps to my healing:

1) going gluten free

2) going to homeopathic doctors to help me overcome celiac disease

in no way am I saying that if everyone does what I did (either of the steps), that they will also be miraculously healed, or that it will help everyone. But I do think that it will help a lot of people. 

 I in no way think that people should eat gluten free unless they have to. I don't think its a good weight loss diet, and that the Lord meant for wheat to be a staple for us. The Word of Wisdom specifically tells us that "all grain is good for the food of man..." and then specifically tells us later that "wheat for man, and corn for the ox, and oats for the horse..." D&C 89:16-17.  BUT some people's bodies just reject wheat. If you are feeling sick, milk or wheat is the first thing I would say to eliminate (I will post later about the best way to go gluten free). BUT if you do find that your body "rejects" any food, my experience can show you that there are ways of eliminating that food "intolerance" or "allergy."

Here goes....

I was sick for a long, long, long time. I am 27 now, and I was sick for 9 of those years. A third of my life. So I understand being sick, every day, all day. Wanting to pull my gut out. Doing homework in the bathroom, saying no to dates because of my pains.  Many people that new me from 18-27 have told me that they never knew that I was so sick, (except my companions and def my husband. #shoutouttonate he went through so much with me being sick! I think he was just as grateful as I was to overcome it!) I guess I was good at smiling through it? I can def say that that I went through most of it alone, so I don't want you to go through this alone! I am here for you!

Anyway, it started when I was a senior in highschool. I remember that food just didn't settle well and I would get really tired. When I went to college the next year, the problem got really bad. I deduced that it was lactose intolerance since I was always sick coming home from my job at a frozen yogurt shop. So my family had to deal with me "not being able to eat anything with milk in it" or taking those lactaid pills (none of which helped me, but i see why now.) Anyway, I just kind of went on in my life always having digestive issues. 

When I was 20, I had gallbladder issues. I started having severe pains in my abdomen once a day or so. Then it progressed to every day, then every time I ate, then all the time, then almost non-stop. It kinda felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife all the time, it would double me over and take my breath away. It was so bad, amidst finals week I went to the doctor many times to figure it out, and they finally deduced that it was probably my gallbladder. So a week later I had emergency surgery. Funny thing is that the doctor said "well, we'll take this out and hope it takes the pain away, then we'll know it was your gallbladder..." um...k, thanks for doing an experiment with my body!! haha, jk. It was the right thing, they said my gallbladder was all shriveled up in a constant state of contraction. Anyway, who knows why that happened...one explanation is that some people with celiac disease when they don't control it with a gluten free (GF) diet it can affect their gallbladder.

Well, my gallbladder is gone now, the pain went away. I still have digestive issues that reoccur from that when I don't eat for a long time (fasting is always a fun experience!!) but those issues compared to everything else are minimal :)

Ok, then I went on my mission. I got really really sick. The MTC was horrible. I lost 18 lbs there and couldnt eat anything. I was there during thanksgiving and christmas and I remember eating a roll and some veggies for thanksgiving while everyone else had their feast. They didn't know what was wrong with me and at one point I was on 8 different medications. Some to help the problems, some to alleviate the side effects of the other medicines. It. was. horrible. When I got to Taiwan i said "heck with these meds" and stopped taking them... it mostly went away for the first 9 months. The last 9 months of my mission I got really really sick again and lost a bunch of weight (my family said i looked like a chemo patient when i got home #eek). Anyway, it pains me to remember how sick I was during those years, and the stresses of being a missionary and being sick are no fun, but I am eternally grateful that I was not so sick that I had to come home. It was a huge blessing

I got home and got right into american food. I had become a lot more healthy by this point, so fruits, veggies, and lots of whole grains were my staple. Little did I know at that point that whole wheat was hurting me the worst. The thing about celieac disease (or gluten intolerance) is that it hurts your digestive system. When I would eat foods my body "rejected" (with celiac disease it means your body is rejecting gluten --a protein found on the wheat--, I would later find out that my body was rejecting more than just wheat...but we'll get to that.)  So when your body comes in contact with something it is "rejecting" it creates antibodies against it. So then, it fights it like its bacteria. So what happens is when the wheat would touch the villi in my digestive system, my body would actually attack the villi in my intestines (so my body was attacking itself!). they would become very inflamed, kind of like huge sores all over my gut. 

So, what would happen after eating lots of gluten for a long time, my whole gut became one big sore. So even if I ate a meal with no gluten, i would still feel lots of pain and "sick" because of the wounds that were ever present. You can see why it was such a long process for me to figure out what was making me sick. (I found out later, from doing expiriments after going completely gf and then adding it back in, that the symptoms didnt appear for 12-24 hours for me, so it was really hard to find out when I got contaminated and this made total sense why I had such a hard time figuring out that it was gluten that was making me so sick to start with.)

I was sick almost every day, all day. The only way to explain what I went through is to imagine this: imagine if you ate a ball of nails. Imagine feeling it move from your small intestine, around all the little curves, and then into your large intestine. You would be very aware. You would know it, and feel it, and want to get rid of it. This is how every bit of food and gas felt as it went through me. It was this way from about age 22-25. I was always bloated, but gas was painful. Like I said, it felt like a ball of nails that would never come out. I spent endless hours in the bathroom doing my homework. Every date was filled with many bathroom trips. I wonder what my roommates thought of me, haha (i'm too scared to ask, but i'm sure they thought I was weird.) 

Anyway, I new I had a problem that needed to be fixed. I tried going milk free. sugar free (I did make it whole year! but that wasn't it). I tried doing cleanses, probiotics, eating healthier, eating more yogurt. Finally one day I was telling my friend Brittany about how sick I was and how I was soooo tired (I needed like 10 hours of sleep). She told me that I should try going gf, and it had really helped her. So I tried it and it did help. well....i would say it took away half of my symptoms. but that was amazing enough. (Ill explain later that my body was rejecting a lot of other foods, and thats why it didnt help me 100%, but it was the main culprit so it did help a lot). Since it made such a big difference,  I was religious to my gf diet.

#sidenote

I met nate a few weeks after starting to go gf so thats how all his family and friends knew me. My family I'm sure thought I was this weirdo that kept skipping from diet to diet, and now i tell them I don't eat gf they prob think its a new fad. but if they read this, than i think they would understand why i went through so many different things and why i am the way I am now. 

So, since i was still sick even though I was eating gf, the only thing I knew to do was to be more strict. Make sure food wasn't made in a place with wheat, make sure I didn't inhale it. I would make nate brush his teeth before he could kiss me. I'm sure I drove everyone nuts, especially when people brought food over to our house after I had eli, but what could I say. I knew that I was still kinda sick and that eating gluten made me really sick. So I was paranoid. 

After 6 months of eating gf we wanted to find out more about why I was still sick and if they could help me any more. So because of good insurance, I had an endoscopy where they put you out and they stick a camera down your throat and go and take a few peices of my intestines to examine them. they made me eat wheat for 4 weeks leading up to that, and it was horrible. I hated it! I remember thinking that if the diagnosis came back negative for celiac disease that I would still eat gf because it made me so sick. But they called me a few days later to confirm that I had celiac disease because they could see the inflamation it was causing in my intestines. So, I went back to eating gf again. 

A few months later i was still very very sick, well not as sick as eating gluten, but its horrible to eat gf and still be sick. I had a preisthood blessing around this time that said that "if I were faithful, that the Lord would show me how to be healed."  I was so excited. I thought I would be free of pain soon. But the Lord had different timing for me. He knew I needed some more refining. So I did what I felt was right, and a long year and a half later I finally was healed!

to be continued....

Do you love yourself??

I woke up this morning and their was snow!  

#sidenote denver is bipolar. #secondsidenote this is really early to have a side note, haha...anyway #backtooriginalsidenote I know everyone from everywhere claims that where they're from, the weather is crazy. But I've lived in Rexburg, Provo, Arizona, China, and Taiwan. Ive visited Cincinnati many times...and now live in Denver. And despite everyone thinking that the weather is crazy from where they're from (granted, nothing and no one is colder than a BYU-Idaho student! because the wind is always cold and you're always walking in a snow storm uphill...both ways! #seriously)  anyway, so I don't care where you're from, Denver is crazier!  It will be like 80 degrees one day in the middle of January and the next day snow and tons if it, then it melts super fast.   Then it all repeats a few weeks later.  My hypothalamus can't handle it! Instead of getting used to the cold or hot, it just feels super hot then super cold. 

Anyway...back to the original post. So I woke up to take a picture so I can tell you how crazy it is here, and I caught a glimpse of this pretty lady in the camera because the camera was still on selfie mode. 

 Normally I'm like, ughhh I hate catching myself, especially right after I wake up, but this time I kinda just stared. I looked at her..... She really is pretty, why don't you like to see her? You see that twinkle in her eye? She seems happy. She looks pretty without make up. If you would only focus more on her beautiful and one of a kind freckles you would stop focusing on the things you usually wish were different. Isn't it nice to look past her cheeks you usually stare at because you feel like everyone else stares and judges the weight gain in her face. Isn't it nice to look past her hair and make up and clothes and stop tugging and fixing and just see her? Don't you just love her? Aren't you glad you get to spend everyday with her? Maybe you should be nicer to her. Maybe you should give her a break. She'll never be a model, or always get things done the way you want, or be perfect. But she's trying really hard. And I love her. Yep, you heard me, I love her and you should love her too,  because she is perfectly perfect in all her imperfections..... And I wouldn't want to spend my life being with anyone else.

Love yourself!!! #seriously

I was once asked if I'd want to be friends with myself, and 8 years ago with no second thought I said "heck no, I'd drive myself crazy."    It brings tears to my eyes to think that I had such negative thoughts towards myself. I realize that I was not the best person back then and really, it was hard to live with me #sorrytomysiblingsandroommates #thanksforlovingmeanyway (good thing I changed before Nate came along or he wouldn't have given me a second look! #seriously). I have changed a lot and through the atonement of Christ I have repented and become better ...but  that doesnt mean I should hate myself. I am proud to say that if someone asked me again "would you want to be friends with yourself??" I would proudly and emphatically say "YES!"  I mean, I am really funny and nice and I try to help others around me and I am a good mom and wife. Now, before you think this is a post about how amazing Jessica is, its not. Its about how I have come to love myself and how I hope you will will love yourself. 

Today, look in the mirror. Really look. Do you love yourself? Would you want to be friends or live with you? If there is anything that is a "no" then maybe you should practice positive affirmations everyday. I do, and it really helps. When I am tempted to look in the mirror and start thinking negative things about my pregnancy weight gain or how I don't look like my friends or wonder why nate married me...I stop myself and I say "You are beautiful" I smile at that beautiful lady staring back at me and walk away from the mirror. I leave myself notes about how beautiful I am and how much my Savior loves me. Nate leaves me lovely notes too.  

Life is not about being beautiful, its about love. The Savior wants us to love. Becoming a Celestial Being like our Father in Heaven is about love. So, repeat whatever phrase brings love into your heart! Repeat it to yourself. Tell your children phrases of love. Tell your spouse!

So, love yourself! Stop nitpicking. Start loving, and you will eventually be able to really look in the mirror and really be able to to say: "I love you with all your perfect imperfections. I am so glad I get to live all day every day with you!"

#lastsidenote

I was totally going to post some other stuff today about things I have researched, but felt like someone really needed to hear this...so enjoy! 

#oklastlastsidenote

Here is an amazing campaign that I found a while back that I think is wonderful!

Its Natalie Hodson on being "Perfectly Imperfect"

not all to-do lists #orgreatharvests are created equal

Remember how I drove almost 30 mins today just because I was craving Great Harvest??? Remember how I couldn't eat it when i was in Provo because I had to eat gluten free back then, but it has the best free slices of bread and granola #notfree #nothealthy #butgoodtoo? But remember how when I got there I ate the crusty old free slice in 2 bites and they didn't have any of the normal Great Harvest amazing breads or granola??  So I asked her if I could have a free slice for Eli #twobiteswasnotenoughforthisprego, but I ate it because my cravings are crazy????   

So, I'm never going back there. Sorry. Well, maybe if I was next to it and i wanted a few bites of free bread. #emphasisonfew

Yeah, sorry to tell you that unless you only like  Dakota bread, the drive to the Great Harvest here is not worth it. Apparently not all Great Harvests are created equal. They have their own recipes and such, so you cant get the same stuff at every store #whoknew...bummer for me!!!

So if you are feeling all nice, go get a free peice of bread for me, shrink wrap it (or you know those machines on the infomercials that take the air out of bags??) just do that!! I'm sure it'd taste the same :)

So, since we were in the area of a Once Upon a Child, and Eli needs new sandals and sunday shoes #kidsfeetgrowfast! we stopped there...I found some shoes and sandals. So i got home and the sunday shoes (that were looking way way too big in the store) dont fit with socks on, and I found some sandals that some one else had given to us before Eli was born that I didn't even know I had. So that trip was pointless too.

But now I have to go back to that area #30minsaway #bleh  to take the shoes and sandals back #pennypincherhere, and drive past the Great Harvest that has no good bread. #momlife #pregnancylife #canibepregnantwithoutcravings #isthatevenpossible

Remember how I have a to-do list. When i look at this to-do list I'm like, i can totally get that done in a day! But then, i created this list like a week ago, and every day i try to finish it, and get like one thing done?? Is there something wrong with me? I mean, Eli naps 1.5-3 hours these days. He goes down and I read my scriptures and do my hip exercises (from this book, it has really helped!!). But then I guess sometimes I get caught on facebook or watching 19 kids and counting. (#sidenote I didnt used to follow anything, but i watch stuff on the tv when i work out at the gym and then get home and get hooked I guess #itwasboundtohappen). but most of the time I really do work on things!!!

Anyway, so why can't I just do these things??

Well, you'd be proud of me. Today I cleaned the bathrooms #secondtimesincewemovedin #onthetodolistforweeks

and

fixed some of the doors in our house (they painted our doors so many times that the paint gets stuck when they are shut and they are SOOOO loud when they open, it wakes me up all the time when nate is getting ready in the morning)

and

I got rid of a big pile of "things to put away" that has been sitting there for weeks. 

proud of that at least!!!

I know life is not about to-do lists. 

I know success is not measured by how much I get done. But i sure would be a lot less crazy if it would get done faster, haha

No, I realized that I cant get it all done because I am taking care of Eli, reading to him, getting his meals ready, keeping the house in order so there's not gross milk sitting on the table, or doing laundry, shopping...you get the idea. There's also taking care of myself spiritually (scriptures and such), physically (exercising and showering and relaxing) and so there's a lot to do in a day that has to be "re-done" every day. So that's why I don't "progress" on my lists much I guess. (plus, lugging this big belly around sure does take a lot of extra time, wink wink)

So I guess its a good sign that I can't get things done. I would have to neglect my family and myself to get everything done that I wanted.

So I guess I'll have to cut my to-do list short sometimes and settle with the "not-best-deal" in stead of searching for the cheapest in order to spend a little more time reading with my little one or making dinner for my hubs. 

What kind of realizations did you have today??

what to-do list items didnt get done, but child felt loved??

#herestobeingthereforyourfamily

#herestobeingreal

#herestothrowingawaytodolists

#justkidding

#sorta

it's the little things...

So, I must have eaten something that threw me all off on Saturday night or summin' because Sunday and Monday were no fun. But I feel better now :) Grateful to not be that sick all the time!!!

We had a great weekend, but here are some small little things that brought a smile to my heart. They might seem little to you, but they bring me great heapin' heaps o' joy!!!

**********

Eli messed with my alarm clock, and the other morning and  when I looked at the clock it said 8:10 when I woke up, but no! It was 9 when I woke up! Thanks to Nate watching Eli quietly I got a lot of extra sleep!

************

Eli picked me a flower and brought it to me, and within the same 10 mins our neighbors brought me some peach cobbler!! both were so nice!!

#sidenote

Nate was playing outside with Eli, and I wanted to be with them and in the sun, but not chase Eli, so I brought out a lawn chair to the sidewalk. So I'm pretty sure I looked like I'm a gimp or something. and these same neighbors get to see me every morning. Doesn't sound too bad, eh? well, i'm pretty sure i'd win for craziest "hair-do" in the morning, and most mornings I wake up and get eli and put him in his highchair and open our blinds that face their house while Eli and I eat. So, they go to leave for work and see me half awake with CRAZY  hair almost everyday!! So when they saw me outside they were prob like "poor lady, she looks bad every morning, and now she looks like a gimp, we should give her tasty food that will go to her hips"...so  i'm sure thats why she brought me some peach cobbler!

but hey, my belly enjoyed it!

***************

and here's nate being my super hero! isn't he a stud??

#shoutout to Nate for doing all the dishes and laundry last night after FHE!

*************

Eli's new cute thing is that whenever something falls or he can't get it he'll say "doh doh"...at first I was like, um are you saying you need to "go go" like "go potty?"...but then I realized that when he drops things i say "where did it go?" and so he is saying "go"...haha. He is too cute!

*****************
What are the chances that I have a tiny mouse living in my wheat thins box???

(I put Eli in the shot because he is just too cute to leave out...but he thought I was giving the wheat thin to him...poor kid, he choked on the last one I gave him, so i had to consume it...poor me haha)

*************

so, we went to the library on saturday. Nate dressed Eli in clothes that I had in his dresser, but I guess he hadnt worn them before because they were way way too big. Like, he looked like a gangster because his pants were all baggy and falling down. I hope we didnt scare any of the moms at the library that their kids might be playing with a gangster's kids

but the thing that brightened my day was that I told Eli to put this toy on the ground and pull it (he has never played with a toy like this before)...and he actually understood me and did it! It was a fun mom moment to see that he actually understands a lot and is able to follow commands! Its so fun to see his progress!

*************
Eli just said his first full word a few minutes ago. Well, he has said "mum" for a few weeks. BUT he normally just says the beginning of words, but he said "bubble"...just clear and plain, over and over again! yay! #momlife #momsgetexcitedaboutawesomestuff

*************

There are so many "little" things that happen that just brighten me up! "doh doh", dandelions, nice neighbors, Eli's giggles, Nate's studliness in posing, new things that Eli learns.

What are little things that may seem insignificant to others, but make you smile inside and out?? 

#gratitudeistheelixiroflife

#imgratefulforthelittlethings
#itsthelittlethings

Tips from Jess: Credit Reports

So, there are some things in life I try to avoid at all costs...despite knowing they are good for me. Three of these came up this past week...eeeek!

One: managing food storage

Two: signing up for credit cards (or anything that has to do with credit)

Three: budgeting

These are all good things (well, credit cards can get you in trouble, but no worries, we use them like debit cards, and in this world you have to have them to establish credit so you can buy a big house in the future #everyonesgoal #right? haha)

[one]

So, why do I hate dealing with food storage? I love the idea!!! Seriously, twice in my life so far I was saved because I had food storage! I was a college student, and because of weird situations transferring to BYU, I couldn't get a scholarship and so I had to work extra while going to school. (I always worked while going to school, and worked extra hard during the summers. It was a big blessing to have both of us graduate with no debt #workinghardpaysoff!!)

Anyway, it was the beginning of January, my first semester at BYU and I was working, but I didn't get my first check until mid February and between now and my check, I needed to pay Feb rent and eat...but I had less than $100 in my account. So what did I do?? I took some cereal from my mom's food storage and lived off what I had bought extra the semester before. Seriously, I remember someone shopping with me and asking why I bought so much stuff, and I straight up told them: food storage. and then what happened???? I literally lived off that specific food storage for a month!

Rice, beans, oatmeal, and min-shredded wheats for 1.5 months...I couldnt eat those things for a while after...but food storage saved me! This same thing happened again a year later, and food storage came to the rescue!!

Anyway, why do I cringe at food storage?? I wish I could just buy all of it at once and ten years later, throw it away and buy it all again. I don't want to do this whole rotational thing and get extra, but eat it and buy more. It stresses me out.

 but you gotta do what you gotta do I guess...ill let nate handle this one!

(btw, here is a great website on the basics of food storage straight on the church's website)

[two] 

We have been looking into how to build our credit up and also what credit cards have the best rewards. So nate took a plunge and he investigated it all (why him?? because i hate thinking about these things)

Wait, why do you hate thinking about it so much?? Well, I worked at Progrexion for 5 years, its a credit repair company, and for 5 years I found out all the ways that you can mess up your credit. So I just get scared and freeze when it comes to things dealing with credit.  I get scared of applying for anything, because I know that hard inquiries can decrease your score 3-10 points every time...and thats not a big deal once in a while, but did you know that when you go to a car dealership and they "check to see if you are approved" they actually inquire at 10-15 different lenders to see who will accept you! That's 10-15 different hard inquiries times 3-10 points!!  sheesh!  So i always get scared, and make them swear by their big toes that they will only pull my credit once (I never trust car dealerships anyway, but im talking about my bank or credit card companies). 

Anyway..another thing to super stay away from is debt consolidation places. Lets say all your debt adds up to $1000. They say they will pay all your bills, and you pay them $800. You think thats great! BUT... Did you know that they just let your payments go later and later for like a year until the people will finally just settle for like 1/4 of the cost??? So they pay $250 for you original $1000. and now your credit is really messed up because you have an extra years worth of late payments (when you thought they were paying off your creditors), and it takes 7-10 years for that information to come off of your credit report! Seriously, don't think its better to consolidate. First off, dont be late. Second off, if you are late, pay ASAP and forgo your weekly spa treatment. Third off, if it seems overwhelming, still just pay it off yourself, dont consolidate!

Those are the two main things I wish I could tell the whole world. Oh wait... and don't think paying off your debts will automatically improve your credit score. It might, but it doesnt work that way totally. AND dont close your credit cards, just pay them off, but open credit cards actually increase your score. (check out the next link!)

Ok, one last thing...check your credit score often (at least once a year, but for sure in advance before you apply for something)! Just because you havent done something doesnt mean that someone didnt intentionally or accidentally use your social security number or the person at you apartment complex missed something and said you were late paying rent when you weren't. Inaccuracies can happen to anyone, and the earlier you catch it, the easier it is to fight it off. 

Here is a website that explains credit reports in a fast, simple, and understandable way! Its one of the best explanations I've ever seen! Plus it gives you understandable tips! Quick, easy read!

Here is super cool website that will help you know which credit card will give you the best benefits depending on you. (meaning, how much you spend, make, spend on groceries, etc)

Just put in all your info, and then click on the $ sign by "annual rewards" to change what you spend on specific things, and it pops up what is best for you.

And here is a website where you can really get a free credit score! Seriously, I worked in credit for so long and all that time they didnt have anywhere that really did, but Credit Karma really does now! It doesnt put any inquiries on your credit report and no paying for it!!! They say its because they just have tons of adds on their website, but ill take adds over paying for my report! Here is a website helping you feel better about Credit Karma.   (I am not affiliated with any of these websites in any way, I just want to spread the good news!)

So there is your lesson about credit from someone who worked with people's reports for 5 years! It's something that is crazy but you can't get away from it in this world unless you have cash for everything #whohascashforahouse. So, in this case, knowledge is power! So many people called in with messed up credit because they didnt understand credit and went off "hear-say." So go get educated!!

[ok...number 3]

Budgeting....and who likes it besides nate? seriously, when i was single, i just didnt do it. I know i should have, but i'm glad nate is willing to do it once a month and then we sit down and we go over how I spent too much at Target, then we make goals for the next month of how I can't go to Cafe Rio so often if I want doTERRA #wayworthit. But its all good, the Brethren of the church have always said that budgeting is good, and how we shouldnt have any one in the relationship be the "monarch"...so we talk about it and make goals together! (despite me just making nate sound mean, he really just tells me reality of numbers , since he doesnt spend almost anything, he just sits at his office making the money #hemakesit #ispendit)....so, its fun now. Especially, since he does all the numbers and all i have to do is talk about it #iamgoodattalking!!

Well, we are off to another great weekend!

Tonight is girl's night!

Tomorrow night, birthing class #natesfavorite #sarcasm

But weekends are my family time and time off from blogging, so see you monday!!

#familytimeissofun

#familydatetimetomorrow #wootwoot