giraffes, pineapple-carrot muffins, and put-put #perfectweekend

Hello Friends! And Good Morning from Denver! {insert talk show host voice} #jk #insertjessicavoice

What have you been up to since we last talked? Well, we just have had the most amazing weekend. Normally I don't do a travel log, but seriously, our little family weekend adventures were just so fun! So here goes ;) #sidenote #elididnotdiethisweekend #noralmostdie #alltimelowonaccidents!

So, basically, it was wonderful having Nate home for the weekend! Besides the fact that I just love being with him and see our cute little family together, he is just so great with eli #andmychasinggoeswaydown #myhipsfeelgreatthismorning #thankstonate #imsurehestiredthough

Anyway, so sometimes our cutie pie Eli will start fussing (usually when he's in the carseat and the sun is in his eyes or he's getting his diaper changed.) So, Nate, the cute dad that he is, will say things to distract him. Usually I say something like "where's your head/ears/hands...etc" and he plays that game with me. But nate, is not into games. He wants real life #iguess 

Here are some the phrases I have heard lately that he says to distract him:

 "Eli, what is your favorite color?"

"Eli, look out the window, what do you see?"

"Eli, what are you thinking about?"

my fave: "Eli, what does a giraffe do?"

At first, I was like..."um...nate, he can't answer those types of questions..." but now i just smile at how cute of a dad nate is. He tries so hard to help Eli and have fun with him, so let him ask whatever he wants :)

Ok, so here's our weekend ;)

Friday night we got everything planned and had a hot date! Our babysitter showed up, and we were off. We went to a cute little family run restaurant in the middle of this residential area called Papa Mazzotti's, AND we loved it! The atmosphere was amazing, and it was just so cute! (I didn't get a lot of pictures this weekend, I guess I was enjoying myself too much, so you'll have to use your imaginations I guess). Once we were done eating, Nate just wanted to sit there and talk :) It was so fun not to have crazy music blaring or being distracted by the TV like at most restaurants. AND we had the most amazing sunset!!!

#denverisgorgeous

Then off to the family fun center down the street! Nate LOVES put-put (for you westerners, we played minigolf #funnyeasterners #waithesfromohio #mideasterners #waitmidwesternersiguess). So we played a round of put-put (the only way i said I would play with my painful walking situation is if nate ran after my crazy hits and picked up the ball for me...he is so nice!)  ...so normally I lose by like 15, but somehow my belly did me good and we tied ;) #bestwayonadate   Then off to playing arcade games with tokens we got for free #freeisalwaysbest

Then what else but another free item? we shared a free lemonade icee thing at Chic-fil-a #freetastesgoodtoo #justlikeladyandthetramp

Then what else, but we find out that our babysitter needed to do service hours for honor society, so she babysat for free #imtellingyou #freeisawesome #thanksgirl!

Saturday morning, we got up and went straight to an Ultimate Frisbee game that we were invited to by some friends. I'm sure nate played well! I just sat there and chatted away #momslovetogetoutandtalk  and Eli was a champ and sat in his stroller the whole time #myhipsthankyoueli

Then what better than another outing with friends? A BBQ!  #sidenote  not sure if the heat wave has hit your area, but its perfect weather here! Saturday couldn't have been better #justaskoursunburns #wedidntthinkaboutsunscreeninmarch

Then off to the General Women's Conference! It was amazing. If you missed it, or are wondering what the heck I'm talking about, you can check it out here, we listened to our leaders and a living Apostle of God!

Phew, that was quite a day! But oh, so, fun!

Sunday morning was amazing (Sunday mornings are not always amazing, because getting everyone ready for church and having a time limit sometimes stresses moms out #thatsreallife) but guess what? we were all ready really early for some reason this week!

Pictured here: Us ready...well, Eli is almost ready, we didn't want him to get his church clothes dirty. I am also in an apron...because my belly is prone to getting dirty these days #stickingoutmuch. Ain't no one got time for dirty church dresses before church even starts!

Then Nate even had time to play with Eli outside a bit before we left #theyaretoocutealldressedup

After a great day at church, we came home and everyone took naps but me. #anothersidenote Something is weird in my body, and naps don't make me feel good! Its weird, I wake up and feel gross for hours. Seriously, like nauseous, and groggy, and out of it...FOR HOURS!! Its weird, so I avoid them like the plague and just sleep at night, well the best I can with a million bathroom breaks and aching hips and all...haha #lovepregnancy    

 Anyway, enough of this pity party. So I wasn't about to take a nap. 

Here I am deciding what to do with free time

So after i read my scriptures I decided to index 

  --if you want to learn how to index, it's super easy! Learn how to here--- 

but I was falling asleep during that too! So, I decided to make some muffins. I looked in my pantry and got super excited about pineapple #crazypreggoiknow  So i found an awesome and healthy recipe for Upside Down Pineapple Carrot Muffins! You know mine looked as good as the picture on the website, right? #nailedit   Ok, maybe not, but they tasted amazing!! Like we didn't have dinner, we just ate these muffins.

Then

After everyone woke up we didn't know what to do with ourselves with no extra meetings. So we pulled our couch out into a movie theater setting (once again, no picture, sorry) and watched the new Gordon B Hinckley DVD called "A Giant Among Men"...we got it for free in the mail this week, and I am trying to find the link where you can get it for free, but can't. When I find it, i'll update this post and post it in another blog post, sorry!...Anyway, it was great!

After the movie, we pulled out our favorite Sunday game (which I highly recommend to everyone!). Its and LDS trivia game called "Jots and Tittles" I know you're supposed to play it with a board. But one time we found this set of trivia cards at DI for 75 cents and bought it. We seriously have played almost every sunday for the past 2 years and LOVE it! We don't keep score, we just ask each other questions for a whole card then switch. Some of the questions are hard, but we love it when we can get 4 or 5 out of 6!  GUESS WHAT!?!?! I totally got 5.5/6 on this one! 

 #howmanywouldyouknow

#imightbebragging  #ijustthinkitsrandomthatiknowjacobhamblin

(I got all of them but the James and John, I guess Peter and James)...but I was so proud of myself. Who else knows about Jacob Hamblin but someone who worked at Jacob Lake Inn (on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon) two summers in a row?? 

Then we ended our night with each of us telling our stories of ghetto places we have lived (Jacob Lake ranks high in that area and Nate's Hill Cumorrah Pageant ranks high in his). We laughed so hard. #laughingfeelssogood

It was a perfect ending to a perfect weekend!

Thanks for coming along with me!

I hope you enjoyed it! and maybe even got some ideas of fun things to do with your family over the weekends!

Now I'm off to do dishes. #realitycheck I have literally not done dishes since last Tuesday, and the sink is barely full!!  here's my life hack:  We use paper plates/bowls and napkins for everything! Then dishes dont have to be done for days #nodishesmakesahappymomma (it was one of the "financial upgrades" we decided was appropriate once we had a real job out of college!) #dontjudge #ialsousedisposablediapersandmuffinpaperthings #yougottadowhatyougottado

#herestobeingreal

Anyway, enjoy your week! I'll enjoy my dishes

I am not a bad mom!

Remember how I went to dispute a claim with our insurance that I thought was filed wrong because I was paying too much? They were making me pay for a well-child exam, and I thought I shouldn't. So they "reviewed" it and realized that they actually hadn't charged me enough.....haha. So glad I was trying to straighten things out!#sarcasm  Apparently our insurance "grandfathers" in old insurance policies where they can charge me a co-pay for our well-child visits....whatever, I'm just glad I have insurance!

Also, remember when I had an emotional break down the other night. Like, I just kept crying. I couldn't stop. There weren't a lot of reasons, but anyway, Nate got home and was like "whoa, I gotta help my wife!" So, I told him I had been craving Mexican, so he took me to a cute little family mexican restaraunt...and guess what?? They even had live music and they came around and serinaded us! It was fun....ooooober greasy, but fun #idontremembermexicanbeingsogreasy #guessihaventbeeninawhile #ithinkiateacupoflard 

picture

That was fun. I try to be a healthy, well balanced wife and mom, but sometimes your horomones get the best of you #sillythings #gladtheyaremakingababythough #pregnancyisworthit

***********************

On another note...I think something is out to get Eli! Seriously, how can one child have so many accidents in one week?

First it was his forehead meeting the sidewalk #lookedworsethanitwas #gladitshealednow

Then he choked last night...like real choking, no breathing for a bit. It was scary, but then he coughed up the wheat thin....yes! A wheat thin! He's eaten them a lot, but I guess we won't give them to him anymore. This kid has had about 5 times in the past 6 months where he has stopped breathing while choking on something...seriously, way to give a mom a heart attack. #noidongivehimchokablethings #itwaspeaches #cutupofcourse #imgladhesalive #howdidweallmakeittoadulthood??

He has blisters on his feet that were bleeding from his new cute sandals

He randomly tripped last night and the wall met his forehead/nose, then flipped him onto his back. He then cried so hard that he broke blood vessels around his eyes (that happened when he was a newborn from an ear infection, so I know its not the end of the world, but still sad :(  

Then today, we were walking out of the dollar store... I was even holding his hand while walking through the parking lot and all of the sudden, he trips and falls to the ground! Seriously, a knee scrape and another head bump #hisheadisgoingtobestrong

(can you see his little knee scrape?? I know its not bad, but just go with me here)

Wow, so I come home from that and go to the gym, and my front tire of my jogging stroller just breaks on the way home! Seriously. I am glad I wasn't jogging while that happened! He probably would have face planted it again haha #icantjogrightnow #letsjustpretendicouldhavebeenjogging

Anyway, I am so glad we are alive!

I was driving home and thinking about how different people have made jokes about how I must be hurting my child....well, here's a news flash. I am one of the most cautious moms and he still gets hurt...its called childhood (well, specifically right now, toddlerhood). He loves climbing on everything

And getting into everything (dont ask me how he managed to find the only thing in the garbage that would stain...a plate that had had blueberry and black berry juice on it)

So, after all of this happened. I was thinking about how a week like this can get you down as a mom. I know some of you might be thinking "none of that is even bad"...but you know what, we all go through different things that seem like we might be "failing."  I want to let you know that you...and me. We are not "bad moms." We are doing great! (unless you really do push your kids down, then you should stop that!)

Not having a clean house, dinner done, kids getting hurt, laundry piles, well-child exams made late, to-do lists not getting done, letting your child have a full tantrum while you sit there....these don't make you a bad mom. 

I love my son. I try to teach him how to be emotionally fit, eat well, and not break his head open. I try to read to him, and love him. I try to teach him about Christ. But some days...ok, most days don't go as we had so perfectly planned out...and its ok. 

Give yourself a hug! Realize that we are all ok, and that you are doing great! Don't let any other moms judgments get to you. Let them judge, you know you are doing your best! :)

#youareagoodmom

#herestobeingreal
#myhouseisacrazymess
#ishouldshowerfirstthough
#gotahotdatetonight
#yayfordatenight

Overcoming Unhealthy Obsessions with Image and Food

I like blogging. I am glad you are here with me, reading my blog. I started blogging again to have conversations with people. To share my knowledge. To help. Most of the time, I write about daily life....because, I have a huge message to the world about being real. I want people (especially moms) to be able to read and see someone real. So, I don't go back and capitolize, I don't take a million pictures to get the right one...I want to be real so that real people can feel good about their own lives knowing that I also make a lot of mistakes, but laugh about it. 

Today, I am going to share with you something real. Something that will help. Normally I like to "help" people by helping them laugh at my stories, but this is different today. 

I hope this helps. I feel somewhat scared about this, because this is something very dear to me, but I know it will help someone. I hope you will read and consider your own position in this. Share this with others who might need these words. Parents, realize that this could be happening with your kids.

So here goes :)

*******************

I used to live with Ed. 

Yep, Ed. 

And guess what. I hated him. But I kept him around, because he made me feel good, kinda. 

Ed was dumb, and annoying, and always there. He wouldn't leave me alone. I tried many times to get rid of him, but he wouldn't move out. 

Now, before you think I lived with a man before I got married, I didn't. Ed is someone or something, i should say, that tries to creep into all our lives...at least I think so.

Ed stands for Eating Disorder. 

Now, I believe that eating disorders do not only fall under the 2 names of bulimia or anorexia (albeit, they are quite severe and need immediate help). No, I think that the definition of eating disorders is as follows: an unhealthy obsession over eating or image.   

The key word is unhealthy and obsession.

Here is my story of how I let Ed in, and how I kicked him out. As you read take your judging caps off please, and let me tell you a sad but glorious story.

As a teenager I was on sports teams and didn't really have to worry about my weight. I could eat whatever I wanted and it didn't matter. But once college hit, and I started eating my emotions, and gaining a lot of weight, Ed moved right in. I didn't realize it for YEARS!!!    I loved eating cake for breakfast, and making a batch of cookie dough and eating the whole thing in one night. It gave me some sense of control I guess, but as we find out later, things like these that we feel like we do to have "control" over, are really just controlling us. Any unrighteous habit/addiction should be stopped!

Anyway, i won't go into all the bad things I loved to eat, but binge eating was common (eating a lot all at once past the point of full is considered binge eating--binge eating doesn't have to include throwing up, as mine never did). Even though I gained a lot of weight, I didn't see it as a problem because I liked it. I wanted to have that feeling or that high that I got from eating what I wanted. So I kept going. 

I went on my mission and lost a bunch of weight because I was really sick, and that made the problem worse, because i could eat all I wanted but not gain weight when I was sick. So I ate cookies and peanut butter for breakfast and whole bags of candy for lunch.    

One day, I realized I had a problem.  I was out of control, and although I didnt have the aforementioned "eating disorders" I did have an "eating disorder." I couldn't control myself. I finally turned to my Savior for help with this habit (later i would learn to classify it as an addiction) that was ruining my life, since it was all I could think about. (to keep this short, you can read my story of how The Book of Mormon and helped me change my eating habits and lose weight here )

Ok. So now I realized there was a problem (THIS IS THE FIRST STEP), and I had turned to the Savior to help me overcome it (this is another important step). But there are still many years of struggling that went on. 

I got home from my mission, and had lost a lot of weight, but since I wasn't "as" sick anymore i started gaining the weight back, and this is when my obsession over my image became a problem. I remember weighing myself multiple times a day, and I would spend way too much time staring at myself in the mirror and grabbing my face/side chub and hating it. I would stare at selfies that made me look good for hours. Now, i dont care how heavy or skinny anyone is...this kind of behavior is unhealthy!

I felt so alone. I wanted to be changed. I wanted to overcome this and not think about it. I wanted to be able to be healthy and have a body that i was proud of and not think about it....but it consumed me. That is all I ever thought about. How do I look? How much do I weigh?  and the main thing was:  what I was going to eat next? Sounds ironic huh? Someone who is trying to lose weight, thinking about what she is going to eat all the time. But it was.

I remember the worst semester of my life. I was at BYU. I was Relief Society president. I was in a very challenging top notch Chinese Program. I was at the end of my marathon training. I was trying to get good grades to keep my scholarships. I was also going on dates every weekend. I also would wake up at 5 and go the gym every morning. My life was so full! I was taking a "Stress Management" class that was required for my major. (This is where I ended up learning about how Perfectionism is a deadly disease, but that will have to wait for another post :)...anyway, this class required us to see a counselor about our stress.   This is where things started to change. 

They realized that I was a mess. Although my life looked "great" to everyone else (the aforementioned life of many dates, marathon, RS pres, etc is just what you want, right? wrong!!), I was unhealthy. So I started seeing a counselor regularly and through talking things out with her I started going to an Eating Disorder group (even though I didn't have the classified eating disorders, my obsession with weight and food qualified me). This is finally where Ed started to leave my life.

Isn't that crazy??? I was very spiritual. I was taking classes that filled me with knowledge of how to be healthy and take care of my body. I was a very smart and strong willed person....but I couldn't do it on my own. Even with prayer and fasting (oh, i fasted almost every week to overcome this) I needed extra help. It was good. I learned about how these thoughts and actions I previously mentioned were destructive and if I didn't stop them, they would ruin my relationships, my body, and my life. It was so relieving to get help and to kick Ed out. 

I finally got a handle on my binge eating and this habit was at an all time low! But the thoughts and obsession about food and image were still there. This is where the next sememster saved my life. I was in another class for my major about Drug Abuse and we were required to go to the LDS church's 12 Step Addiciton Recovery Program for at least one meeting. I realized this is where I could overcome my addiction. So I did. I kept going, and it was great. No one knew what my problem was, but they were all there to help me. 

Skip ahead a few years......here I am today. I want to tell you that Ed never visits and doesn't even cross my mind anymore, but I can't. He still knocks. I feel like eating disorders are different from addictions like smoking. Smoking, you just never pick up the cigarette again. No, I feel like eating disorders are like pornography addictions where the main battle is going on in your thoughts, and you can "sin" just by your thoughts. Every time I put on clothes, or look in the mirror or want to compare myself with my beautiful friend, Ed is there waiting to come in. Every time I eat (especially when I'm alone) Ed is knocking. Ed is something that I have to keep my guard up against all the time. He has been overcome and can stay out of my life forever, but it doesn't keep him from knocking. 

Him knocking has nothing to do with me, or relapsing. I can still be clean of that disease by keeping him out...but he still knocks.   BUT that doesnt mean that it doesnt get easier! I have bolted that door and with my tools from counseling, the 12 step addiction program, doctrines from the church, the support of my husband,  and lots of prayer I am not tempted to binge eat almost ever. It is def easier.  I can't unlock the door to Ed just because I think he won't come back. Nope. He is out there, so I have to put the energy in to keep the door shut, but I am defeating him every day and I am stronger than I used to be!

I tell you this because I want to help you overcome Ed too! Not so you will look at me differently, and wonder every time that i eat if I am having troubles with my eating disorder....no, I want to help YOU! Don't let this obsession overcome you. The world will tell you that its ok to be obsessed. Your friends will all talk about their weight or what they eat. But you don't have to have this evil monster consume you! 

You probably are thinking....well then Jessica. Why do you post about healthy food and exercising all the time? Isn't that unhealthy? Well, not in my book. I think that eating healthy and exercising to feel good is wonderful! When its only purpose is to look good, then it becomes detrimental.  That is exactly why I still eat cookies (only a few) and hamburgers and don't exercise sometimes, because I think that it is healthy to have a little of that in your life. I just live healthy most of the time because I know my emotions are more stable, and I am less tired, and my heart will be healthier, and I can prevent diseases like cancer and heart disease by my healthy habits.

So, be healthy to feel healthy. It feels SOOOOOOOOO good!

Here's to a healthy life, and healthy eating habits, and healthy thoughts!

But if you feel like you have been consumed by Ed. Don't despair! 

Here are some tips for overcoming it:

-Let others in your life know you are struggling and be accountable to them--at least one person-- (that includes letting them know when you ate a whole bag of cookies)

-Take things out of your life that make it worse (I threw away my scale, un-friended people on fb/pinterest/social media who seemed to have an obsession, or who made me jealous and think about how I am not as skinny as them)

-Get professional help: Talk to your bishop, go to counselling (a lot of insurance companies pay for this)

-Dont feel ashamed to go to the LDS church's 12 Step Addiciton Recovery Program --here-- (or at least go through the steps on your own.)

Here are some other resources that can help:

For the Strength of Youth: "avoid extremes in diet that could lead to eating disorders."

An Article in the April 2015 Ensign about the atonment found here

Talks on the lds.org website about Eating Disorders found here

Famous-LDS, Lindsay Stirling, talks about her overcoming her eating disorder here

i'm a "picker and a biter" but it's no sin, hun!

Some interesting things have been happenin' round here:

Recently, for some reason Eli thinks that this flip flop tastes good, but only the back side, and he only likes to suck on the peg poking through. So he just sucks on it and walks around like that #wheredidhelearnthat #ihopehedoesntdie #ifhedoes #hideyoflipflopsfromyokids

Also, the other night for FHE, Nate asked me what I wanted to do for the activity, I told him something that would make us laugh. So he told me I could pick....we totes played "down by the banks" hand clapping game. You know, like me and my sister did when we were 10? He got it down pretty fast :) and yes! we did get lots of laughs out of it! I almost did "miss mary mack" but he said one was enough. #itslikehesmanlyorsomething #hesagoodsport #lovehim

Here's some other good news: Eli's face looks much more normal now! Yesterday morning, he looked like THIS:

and yes, it drove me nuts all.day.long! until it naturally fell off. I told nate I was having the hardest time not picking it off myself #doesanyoneelsehavethatproblem??? Nate thinks i'm weird, but i dont think so. I am a picker and a biter....a nice biter. I mean, i bite all my hard candy really fast. I'm pretty sure if I was part of the Marshmallow Study that President Uchtdorf talked about (find it here), I would have lost it in a few minutes. 

Anyway, he is looking lots more normal now. I am glad I dont get those "what did you do to your child" looks anymore. I was sick of giving back the "stop judging me, he's a toddler!" looks!

#sidenote he blows the cutest kisses

#doublesidenote these Tommee Tippee bibs ARE AMAZING!! we went through a few to find the right ones, and these are awesome! they never get smelly and you can wash them fast and they don't have to dry, and never get stained!

******************************

So, yesterday I was all excited about SUMMER!

but i decided to stay in and get stuff done.

then when i woke up this morning, i was ready to get out and play (well, sit somewhere and watch eli play)...and we had this:

#lookhardtoseethesnow #thebushesarecovered!

so I got all ready...

#6monthbump

#ihadtocelebrate3rdtri

but no friends were able to hang out with me. but i wasnt going to let a little...ok, a lot of snow and coldness, and no one coming with me, stop me and Eli from having fun. So we hopped in our car (as nicely as pregnant ladies hop, I probably plopped), anyway, so we plopped in and went to the rec center indoor playgroud #freeisawesome

BUT....a gazillion other people had the same idea! It was crazy. Eli just sat there

#side note --when i typed gazillion, it didnt tell me to spell check it...is it a word??

#backtothestory

Anyway, Eli mostly just sat there and stared at all the kids running around like crazy. But hey, I got out of the house, Eli got his play time in, and now we'll probably be super sick from all the kids' germs #orflipflopgerms we have recently contacted. But i'm glad we got out

Then I came home and read this AMAZING talk in the April Ensign

It is called  "It Isn't a Sin to be Weak"

It was amazing. I think every woman should read it. I think that most women are consumed with this disease of "perfectionism." (Yep, I think that perfectionism is detrimental.) And with this disease,  nothing we do is ever enough, and we compare (thanks to social media making everyone else's lives look perfect) and critisize (mostly ourselves) and put ourselves down. So I think its wonderful to realize what is really a problem, and what is really not a "sin" but is something that we can use the atonement's grace to overcome. 

I know its possible. We can all become better, but not by cutting ourselves down, but by looking up! 

Good luck to everyone today!

You are not your to-do list

You are beautiful and worth everything

#herestobeingreal

#herestolovingourselves 

"Mama, yo hips don't lie" & Elder's Cravings

I think i might be going crazy...first its bunnies laying eggs. Now, I plug my phone in last night and think its charging, only to find out that the phone charger was not plugged in to the wall all night! haha

Besides that, I slept much better last night knowing I was closer to the ground.

Yeah, like I wasn't in a space ship anymore...haha jk. I mean, this happened:

We finally took our bed off the frame since I have such a hard time getting in and out of bed these days with my hip pain! When Eli was a few months old, we lowered the bed for some reason and I was like "Whoa, this is genius!!! Why didnt we do this when i was big and preggo and couldnt get out of bed and when I was recovering after having Eli." 

So, here we are. I have graduated into the 3rd trimester today (yay for 27 weeks)!!! woohoo! and we had to lower the bed because of my hip pain. Who would have thought that I could get to the 3rd tri and still not be wearing maternity clothes and still sleeping on my stomach but not be able to get out of bed? haha  (#dontworrymom #sleepingonyourstomachisok #yourgrandchildissafewithme)

Speaking of this hip pain that I seem to speak of a lot since it follows me everywhere i go :) I have had a lot of people ask me questions about it, so I thought I'd share with you what my research has found. Maybe it will help some of you, or feel free to share this post with a friend that is having a lot of pain with pregnancy.

Here's how it all started: Last pregnancy, around 12 weeks I felt like my hips were already beginning to spread and that I had started waddling. I asked multiple people if they had felt the same thing and they said no. At the same time, I started getting this crazy pain between my legs when i walked. I told my Dr about it. At first they said that if it increased when exercising or walking, that I needed to stop and that I was putting myself into preterm labor. I was like "uh...no, this is not labor pains, this is intense pain while walking."   So then they tested me for UTI like 5 different times because i kept complaining about it. Um...no, I know the difference between walking pain and pain with peeing. 

So, I stopped telling my Dr about it after he said "This is your first baby, right?....{insert awkward pause}....You know, it is uncomfortable to be pregnant."  I was like, "Whoa!!! Hold your horses! I am not a crazy lady who is complaining about swelling feet here, I am in severe excruciating pain every time I walk or sit or turn over. There is something wrong." So, I took measures into my own hands and started researching. 

This is a tricky topic to research! All I knew is that I had pain in my pubic area while walking (for future reference, i tell people that my *hips* hurt, because ain't no one wantin to hear the word pubic unless they'retalking about puberty).....Anyway. Lots of moms complain about pain while walking in the last few months of pregnancy, but nothing seemed like it fit my scenario, it wasnt just discomfort, like i said, it was excruciating pain.

Finally, after months of research, i happened upon what described exactly what I had: Pubic Symphysis Dysfunction (or Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction or SPD). It was a miracle!!! now I could research about how to alleviate the pain. So after another few weeks of researching, I finally found out what it was and ways i could help it.

When you are pregnant your body releases a hormone called "relaxin." It does just what it sounds like, it relaxes the ligaments and joints in your body. Now, this is great and beautiful when done in the right amount, because as you get bigger (like end of your pregnancy), your pelvic/hip bones will naturally and slowly open (epecially near delivery) so that the baby can fit through your pelvic bones during delivery. BUT what happens to us who have SPD is that this hormone is released a little off, either too early or too much. In my case, it is too much and def really early (pain starting 12 weeks with my first, and 8 weeks with 2nd). Now, no one be needing hips spreadin to fit a baby through your pelvic bones at 8 weeks! 

Besides that, my hips settle unevenly. This is what causes the extreme pain for me. The joint right between your legs that holds your pubic bone together is called your Symphysis Pubis. one of my hips was higher than the other, it caused strain on this area, and every time I did something with only one leg (aka, took a step or rolled over in bed) it would cause inflamation and stress on the joint aka pain!  Then after months and months of this, it was just always inflamed and always hurting. (I probably shouldn't have run a 5k while 6 months pregnant, but since I didnt know what was causing the pain, I didnt know to stay away from running, haha #goodforfuturereference)

Once I found this out, I also found out that with a simple manuver, a Chiropractor could pop my hips back into place and then they wouldnt be uneven. So after 4 months of crazy pain, the chiropractor did his job and POP! I felt much better. I remember specifically thinking "Wow, if this is what normal pregnant women feel like, I can do this." So, the last 2 months of my pregnancy was actually the most *comfortable* haha

Anyway, since my muscles had been used to the old position for so long, they do pull your hips back out, so I did have to visit frequently, but at least I was down to "normal pregnancy pain."  So, with this second pregnancy I have been seeing a chiropractor 1-3 times/week since week 8 of my pregnancy, it has helped tremendously. (even though I have had pain here and there, at least I was able to stave off the intense pain for 3-4 months! and I know it is way less painful now than it would have been if I didnt see a chiropractor at all)

So, if you or someone else has had these symptoms:

-feeling like your hips are spreading really early/early waddling

-pain between legs with walking/turning over

-feeling like your leg is falling off

It might be SPD

Things that help:

-Decrease strain in the area: that means no running or long walks, try to decrease activity that is asymetrical (when rolling over, keep legs together, get dressed sitting down, pull both legs out of the car then stand up)

-Find a chiropractor that is certified to help pregnant women (specifically in the Webster Technique--this technique is also famous for helping turn breech babies!!)

-This book has a lot that can help: Relieving Pelvic Pain During and After Pregnancy

-Ice areas that hurt

-Do exercises such as kegels, pelvic tilts, cat/dog

You can still exercise during pregnancy, just not to increase activity in the painful area:

I found that sitting in a reclined exercise bike didnt hurt, so that is my daily exercise (it kinda feels lazy sometimes, but hey! i am pregnant and exercising daily and it doesnt hurt!)

Arm and core workouts are also great!

And don't stress! My pain went away right after delivery. Others I have talked to, it has gone away after a few months, or with continued exercises of the area, it is able to stay away

Moral of the story: don't tell a pregnant lady that she doesn't know what she is feeling! #punkdr

dont judge a pregnant lady for complaining (I despise it when other moms are like, "oh, i know what you mean, i had hip pain my last month!")

dont judge a pregnant lady for not exercising #chairrestisnofun #gainingextraweightisnofuneither 

On another note, don't judge non pregnant people for cravings. The elders told me they wanted hamburgers for dinner last night, so I'm not going to deny anyone of their cravings #eldershavefeelingstoo

Now I am off to clean my house (non vigorously and with sitting breaks of course). After cooking the hamburgers, i have lots of grease to be a scrubbin! (#sidenote I have never made hamburgers before in my life #yayforhealthydiets   and it was messy!!!! #probwonthappenagainforanotherdecade #ifyouwantburgersdontcometome)

quotes, and bunny eggs, and such

Remember how yesterday Nate was telling me how he saw a (and I quote) "real life Easter Bunny Egg" and I was like, "whoa, like a bunny had an egg in their yard?"    

You guys, I really....for a moment....thought bunnies laid eggs. 

That is what this world has done to me!

#whydoweconfusekids #andparents #bunnieslayingeggs #4thofjulycelebratesnofightingbyblowingthingsup #labordayisforrelaxing  #allconfusingright 

Another quote from the weekend: "things mean different things, depending on what you say."

#maybeishouldntspeakwhilepregnant

Here's some non-funny-but-inspirational quotes that have gotten me through hard times that have "uponed" me over the past few months. They are posted to my pin board #sidenote #notmypinterestboard #likearealpinboard

I hope you enjoyed the quotes. I am sure they are ALL inspirational! :)

I'm off to cook for the missionaries :)

I hope you enjoy your evening

Celebrate the Feeling!!!

Last night was date night. 

It was great.

  

Eli came along for the first part. After dinner at home we went to the park so Eli could get some playing time in with someone who can actually chase after him without waddling. Then...surprise! Dairy Queen sucked us in. (not like me at all, but it was so fun to stop and share a blizzard together). As Eli sat there and played with our empty cup for like 20 mins, Nate and I just laughed and enjoyed ourselves. After we got home and family scripture study, Eli was off to bed, and out came the games!

#sidenote

One time for a day date, we all went to a game store and spent $20-$30 on a fun 2 player game. Best investment ever. Instead of donating that to Chili's, we have played that game so many times! Its like the date that keeps on giving! 

Anyway...i smiled so many times, and laughed! Oh man, it feels good to laugh doesnt it?? I kept saying over and over to nate how wonderful our lives are and how happy I am. I seriously go to bed smiling like every day, and can't get enough of my simple little life! Then I wake up happy....like that happy feeling when you were engaged? remember that? yeah, i feel that!

Not that I'm trying to make anyone feel bad that they don't have that feeling, because believe me, i have lived through some hard things. i went through 8 years of feeling sick sick sick to my stomach with many pains no matter what i did, ive had horrible depression, difficulty sleeping, sorrow for sins, pain for a lost loved one, the list can go on. And if you've been following me at all, you know my life isnt perfect either! i have much discomfort that comes with pregnancy....BUT right now, i have chosen to feel happy through it all!

Our little family is just as perfect as I can imagine it could be at this point. We all love each other so much, and Eli brings a joy into our lives that I never thought i'd find outside of loving my spouse. Eli has this light and happiness that beams from his little red cheeks. 

(here he is blowing you a kiss at the gym this morning)

And we have Christ and a forever family. Nate and I serve and love each other. We have wonderful supportive families. All of this is there if I am sick or not, money or not, to-do list long or not. We are just happy! And it feels even better to smile about it!

On my way to my dr. appt this morning I heard this song on the radio by Oh Honey called "Be Okay." In the chorus it says:

 I'm wide awake, so what's the point of dreaming when your life is great?

Celebrate the feeling, celebrate the feeling

Can't complain about much these days, I believe we'll be okay

Isn't that great! It feels so good to celebrate the feeling! Aren't we all living a dream?  We are all blessed beyond anything we can imagine! Its amazing!

Here's a quote that helped me recently: "Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there." by Elder Holland.  So no matter what happened 10 yrs ago or an hour ago, don't let it keep you down. i have lived too many hours, days, years, being sad about what happened in the past, and how i just "knew" that it would continue to happen to me in the future....NO, stop. Dont "stay there" like Elder Holland says. Move foward with faith and happiness!

So here's to having a wonderful day! To smiling! To giving a big hug to all we love and telling them we're grateful! 

Here's to having a dinner conversation about all the blessings that we really do have!

Here's to celebrating the feeling!!

You got your ghetto-car-break-ins and your sidewalk-face-plants #nuffsaid

So...who breaks into ghetto cars?

First, let me explain to you how ghetto my car is.....

Wait. First, First, let me explain to you how much I love my car. I am super duper grateful to have 2 cars! Nate takes the nice car to work because its far, and my car can't go that far that often and I drive our ghetto car and have a chance of dying every day...pretty simple. While nate got it for free from his sister back 4 years ago, he did fix it up for $500, and its been running great since. Well, mostly, but we havent poured that much money into it. Anyway, I am so grateful to have a car to get me around each day that didnt cost us a lot. Something inside of me loves having ghetto things that still work, it just makes me so happy to know that I can spend thousands of dollars less than other people, but still have functional things :)

Anyway, on to the ghetto-ness of my wonderful car. So, the doors don't work. Well, they do. but not really. The driver door doesnt open from the inside, so  you have to open the window to get the door open from the outside. The passenger side door handle is basically dead (see below). The rear windows had to be bolted shut because they kept falling down. The car doesnt even have a CD player, it only has a cassette player (for all of you wondering what that is, it is old, and basically no one owns one but Abraham Lincoln). Anyway. It can't go on the highway because i'm pretty sure it will shake to death and we'll die. And as of last week, the AC stopped working. But its not worth enough to get any of that fixed, so we keep driving it til it dies :) And I love it :) :)

Ok, enough about the ghetto-ness of my car (there has got to be a different word for ghetto, lets us "so last year". So, the question is why would someone break into our so-last-year-car? (I forgot to add that the locks don't work, so breaking in is easy)...like, the only thing valuable in there is the carseat and they left that. 

So, this is what happened. Today, i went to go visiting teaching, and i realized that part of our car door was sitting on the seat. Now, I don't remember putting it there, and I asked Nate and he didnt do it. So, the only conclusion is that someone broke into our car, broke off the door-part-thingy, realized there was nothing worth stealing, so he left it on the seat. 

that's basically what happened #orihavereallybadpregnancybrain

See, here is the evidence:

See in the bottom right of the picture how they ripped that thing from the door, and just put it on the seat?   

Ok, now you are all creeping at what I have stashed in my back seat. The car also has limited trunk space, and my new City Select Double Stroller that I got off craigslist and saved $500 on, is currently occupying it. (just so you don't think i am a crazy mom, yes i did get the deal of the century on it, yes it is the best stroller and its ok if you covet things that are this awesome and yes it is a convertible stroller so I am using it as a single stroller right now, and can add the second seat when this baby comes.)   Anyway, since the trunk is small, i have emergency things like yoga mats, blankets and frisbees in my car...its what all mom-cars need :)

****************************

Ok, wow. 

So guess what! I totally biffed it on the sidewalk yesterday!!!! and then guess what???? Eli dove after me to save me. Just look at his battle wounds

Ok, reals, for reals. Eli totally faced planted it on the sidewalk. It was sad, but you know, every kid has his falls, Eli's just happens to be awkwardly plastered on the middle of his forehead #ihopethisdoesntaffectmarriagelater

(another side note to worried grandmothers: yes, we are taking care of your grandchild, the sidewalks here are so ghetto that they  are not smoothed down,  and so they just rip up his face, so you blame the sidewalks!!) #offthehook

BTW, I don't know how many of you caught my awesome pregnancy brain mistake yesterday, but PSYCH!!! It wasn't tuesday yesterday. silly me! I guess i missed wednesday. how did it go? what even happened?? did we have a solar storm that threw off the GPS systems??

remember when i was on "chair rest"....

REMEMBER WHEN:

Remember when i have such a ghetto car that the AC just stopped working?? and now its way hot here! #hotpreggohere #getmesomeair

Remember how i'm unofficially officially on "chair rest"??? You know, you've heard of bed rest, this is chair rest. You see, i have this intense hip pain during pregnancy. This pregnancy was going way better because i have the chiropractor pop my hips into place once or twice a week. But after our trip, it...hurt...like....(insert painful things here)....I woke up after the wedding and cried because i could barely walk. All the airport walking, plus wedding/luncheon/reception, chasing eli, another airport just did me in i guess.

So my dr told me to stay calm for a few days so the inflammation and pain could go down #akachairrest....yesterday was just blah. I just sat around. I was basically the most boring person ever (just ask Eli). I hated it. But no exercising throws me into depression state. So what would you rather have?   depression/less pain or more pain/feel much happier??  well, i kicked the chair rest today and decided I needed to get out and exercise.

I also went shopping on my way back from the chiropractor and raided Once Upon a Child for their white shirts #ifyouneedtoddlerchurchshirts #dontgototheoneonsheridan

Ok, you prob think im a crazy hoarder lady now...BUT have you ever tried to find white shirts? they are super super expensive. So i bought the sizes we didnt have for Eli so this next babe will be stylin at church, and i bought some up til 4T because they were that cheap :)  #ilovefindinggooddeals #9shirtsforthepriceofone

Remember when I had to pull out my mission scriptures to find a scripture that I wanted to share with Nate last night while we were reading scriptures together? I seriously couldn't remember anything but how it was marked in my old scriptures. #pregnancybrain #lovemymissionscripts

Remember how BYU got into March Madness, but remember how we dont have tv? well, we found a way to watch it...bummer they lost though #upside #nowwedonthavetouseotherstvtowatchthem

Remember how i now have a mane?  Ok, if you have had a baby, I swear this has happened to you too, right? like all your hair grows beautifully while your pregnant, then BAM! it falls out when you have the baby and grows back at the same time, giving you this wonderful mane! Mine is growing in super curly (well, this pic is after i had straightened it the day before) so my hair is "fun" to straighten now being curly just at the roots.

Remember how I have people in Ukraine and Sweden that are reading my blog??? #hellointernationalfriends #здрастуйте #Hallå #您好

(Thought i'd give a shout out to my Taiwanese friends too!)

Remember how i get to spend everyday with this cutie??

He loves poking my belly

 He can now say some foods that he wants, but mostly only can say "beeeeeh"...kinda like beer with no "r." BUT that could mean: bread, berries, pears, green beans, or bananas. so today we had to go through much to find out which "beeeh" he wanted, haha

Here he is trying on some glasses... #toocutenottopost

...lying in our lawn chair (his new fave activity is to crawl up and lounge back like he's all grown up)

that's all...happy TUESDAY!!!!!!
  

surprise trips

I am sitting here at the airport terminal, alone. Kinda weird. The only time i am ever alone is when I get to run to target when nate is home on the weekends #momlife. We're heading out on a secret trip to  surprise someone special and go to a wedding.  (here's a peek of the pics from the photo booth at the wedding!)

anyway, back to packing....It all started last night when nate packed in 10 mins. How do men do that? I mean, my trip packing takes me days, with high anxiety added in! 

I started writing a list of things to do/things not to forget yesterday and started the to do list today. Why do I get such high anxiety with trips? I tell nate that this is exactly why I dont like to travel. So he said he always says he'll help me pack....and he does what he can, but packing is only part of it, you know?  I had to switch the car seat and strollers to the right car, do the dishes, clear the disposal, make sure the temperature was down, eat all the fresh fruit/freeze it/throw it away, take out the garbage, clean the house #noonelikescominghometoamess. All while cleaning up food dumped on the floor, feeding eli, reading to eli, getting eli unstuck from the crevice between the chair and the table #ournewactivity #allday #everyday, putting him down to sleep, getting ready for the day, find a babysitter for the sealing, and eat #mostimportant....so it took me about 6 hrs to pack....bleh! 6 hrs vs 10 mins. I need to learn some tricks from nate or some thing! otherwise we might not travel too much more.

So then we get out on time! Woohoo, thanks to eli's almost 3hr nap! (his upper canines just popped through, so I am hoping that is why he was fussy for the past 2 months??? #momdreams).  We get going and I have the highest anxiety trying to think if ive forgotten anything. (am i the only one like this? my stomach is in knots, and my mind just races and races). I finally call nate and he calms me down. If i brought my ID and Eli, we are good #menaresimple #gladtobemarried

  We park our car and ride the bus to the airport. Nate and I are riding on different flights bc of flyer miles and stuff. So after discussing it with the bus driver for 10 mins, we finally decide that he should drop us off together....nate comes back from checking in, we forgot the stroller. Ugh! We forgot the carrier also! Good thing nate is here and is planning on taking eli otherwise I wouls die!   My hip/pelvic pain is dramatically down since ive gone to a chiropractor this pregnancy but walking long distances hurts like the dickens....wait, lets tell it like it is....it feels like labor.  So good news is Nate is so optimistic and doesnt care that we forogt it #heisreallygoodforme

We get through security and realize that nate needs to use the restroom, fill up a waterbottle and buy and eat dinner (since that was something else I forgot).    But thats right as we realize that we were in separate terminals (denver airport is huge and we fogot to realize we couldnt just chill together).   So good luck nate! Hope he did well since its his first time having to do solo things such as that without somewhere to set eli down.  And eli is fast these days! So I hope it all went well....

#sidenote

im obviously a protective mom bc I was trying to calm down by telling him that the worst thing that would happen is eli sticking his hand in the toilet, and I watched this lady who overheard it, I could just tell she was like "wow, what a crazy, paranoid, over-protective mom." Hey lady, i've been through a lot today and have forgotten a lot. and I'm pregnant and in pain, so give me a break. Plus nate is used to me being a weirdo, so he just smiled while i gave him my freak mom advice #anotherreasonilovehim

Anyway, we also forgot to check me in 24 hrs early. we have to check in early bc im on southwest and your seat depends on how early you check in....so I look down after nate and I separate and....what? Im in the first group to board? I guess my "due in june" shirt gave it away that im prego and the guy checking me in felt bad for me?  Whatever it was, im now in a good seat!

Anyway, this is super weird to be alone, but also nice...but also super weird!

 This is eli's 9th time on an airplane.  Five if those times it was me and him alone. Plus nate loves playing with eli, I get just through it. Plus eli loves playing with nate AND nate flies alone for business all the time. Plus, i get way sick flying.  Plus, plus i could not carry eli through the airport and chase after him, he'd probably get abducted, and I'd go into labor....So im glad it all worked out.

So now im on the plane alone, trying not to throw up. Anyone else feel like they want to die every time they fly? Why in the stink do I fly so much? Oh yeah, to see people I love.       After this, no more flights for 8 months. Woohoo!

*********************

now we are back home. YAY! no one died!! Nate left early for work this morning, and I peeled myself out of bed at 8 after Eli had been talking for 20 mins, but when it turns to crying, i feel this urge to help...i mean, this mom sense tells me i have to wake up to my duties :) side note: i think i am the hardest person to wake up, i have no idea who nursed eli through the night for those first 5 months. 

I might still be a walking zombie an hour later, BUT it is so nice to be home. i love spending time with family, it is so refreshing since now we live in the boondocks basically! BUT it is hard chasing a toddler around everyone's house and telling eli a million times "no thankyou, we dont break ceramic art." "no thankyou, we leave sharp knives in the drawer." "what...how did you get that medicine?!?!?!" you know, just every day happenings. #gladmyhouseisbabyproof

no i can sit here on the couch and just chill while eli unpacks for me #thankyou? #toocutetogetmad #imtootiredtodoanything

AND i can eat all the kix i want. especially since two people commented on how chubby i am yesterday, so what better way to get over it than to have all you can eat kix, right? #somehowkixareaddictive #icantstopeatingthem  #whotellsapregnantladysheischubby #sillyairplanepeople #illexerciselater   

ANYWAY

here's some clips of the weekend:

Eliza was so happy we surprised her!!! (Eliza is Nate's sister who just got back from her LDS mission in brazil 2 weeks ago) She's never met Eli (funny side note, I was 6 months pregnant when she left on her mission, and I'm 6 months pregnant when she got back. Haha I told her that things just sit still while you're out serving) #shelovedthesurprise #yayforaunts

we saw a car that was won on the price is right #we'rebasicallyfamousnow

i sat at the wrong baggage claim for 20 mins #pregnancybrain

one night we were with family playing games and Eli was so tired, and they didnt have a crib or anything. so I put a blanket on the floor in the corner and put him there awake just like i would a crib, and he fell asleep! he didnt leave the blanket #yayforgoodsleeper #whatifwehaveacrazychildnext

i told people that the airplane ride went smoothly because i think we had a better airplane driver person #doublepregnancybrain

Eli loved being with his grandparents, especially his grandpa. He kept giving him hugs #iforgottotakepicturesofthat #soprecious

now i'm off to chill, wait....eli def has a messy diaper. mommy sense is kicking in :) see you later!